Azumanga Daioh Director's Cut
by Osaka's Right Hand Man
Summary: The stories you DIDN'T get to see! A new chapter every Sunday. Latest chapter: 09...Okinawa pt 4 of 4. Main pairing: OsakaKagura! Other pairings within. Shoujoai, of course.
1. Introduction

_**Disclaimer**_ I do not own Azumanga Daioh. I'm just borrowing  
it. This disclaimer applies to all chapters of this story  
(so I don't have to repeat it a million times) and is also  
available in my profile.

(Technical note: Out of habit I always write in 60-  
characters-wide plaintext. I hope nobody minds!)

Welcome to Azumanga Daioh Director's Cut, hereafter known  
as ADDC. This is a series of loosely connected stories  
involving the Azumanga Daioh ladies (all major characters  
and a couple of minor ones too). I present to you my  
complete collection of Azumanga Daioh stories, blended in  
with the canon. In strange and humorous ways. You have been  
warned.

These stories take place in their 3rd year of high school,  
which in my ficverse is the 1999-2000 school year. (You'll  
see why in upcoming chapters.)

In these stories I present a new concept in serial fanfics:  
the "leading lady" concept. Basically, each chapter is told  
from the point of view of a "leading lady" who changes  
every chapter. Each chapter is told in third person, mostly  
from the point of view of its leading lady.

These stories have already been written, and I'll present a  
new chapter every Sunday. (With or without reviews--none of  
that "5 reviews or I won't update" crap!)

I wrote these stories in roughly chronological order, so  
you can see my writing get better as the story goes on.

I hope you enjoy my stories!

_Current Time_ July 1999

**Last Week** Okinawa, Here We Come (3/4) _leading lady_ Chiyo-chan

**This Week** Okinawa, Here We Come (4/4) _leading lady_ Yomi

**Next Week** _to be announced_


	2. Pool

**Chapter 01 - Pool**

It was just another boring day. Except Tomo was around--  
then you just KNOW things are going to get crazy.

This time, the girls (all of them, as usual) had decided to  
go to the city pool. When they got there Tomo went wild  
with excitement, which is to say she acted normally.

"It's the pool! Pool! Pool!" Tomo cried.

"Yes, Tomo, that is indeed a pool," responded Tomo's level-  
headed best friend Yomi. "Now I can finally work off those  
calories from last night's fried rice," she thought to  
herself.

"Pool! Pool! Pool!"

"Shut up Tomo!"

"Pool! Pool! Pool!"

smack

As expected from Yomi. The two bickering buddies  
had it out right there until Chiyo-chan made them stop.

Later, they had changed into their swimsuits and they were  
standing at the poolside when Tomo suddenly got that look  
on her face.

"Tomo--" said Yomi.

"Whaaat?"

"I know that look. You're gonna do something stupid."

"No I'm not! I just got this awesome idea!"

"I rest my case."

Tomo stepped dramatically towards the edge of the pool.  
"Behold!" she cried.

Yomi held her head. "Oh God, what now?"

Tomo turned to face her friends. "I present to you--the  
Ultra Tomo Cannonball Special!"

"Huh? Tomo's got a special cannon?" Osaka wanted to know.

Yomi: "I worry about you sometimes, Tomo."

Kagura: "Cannonball? Uh, Tomo, you really shouldn't--"

"HYAAA! HERE I GO! FORM OF--WATERMELON!"

"Form of a watermelon? Is that even a real martial arts  
form?" Kagura wondered aloud. "And what IS this girl's  
obsession with watermelons anyway?"

Suddenly Tomo leaped into the air (loudly, as always) and  
balled herself into a cannonball, landing in the pool with  
a giant splash that soaked everyone.

ka-ploshh-shonk!

"Ow! My calves!" Tomo yelled as she--stood upright in the  
pool?

Everyone, especially Kagura, burst out laughing at Tomo,  
who was standing waist-deep in the pool.

Finally Kagura calmed down enough to say, "Tomo you idiot!"

"Who are you calling an idiot?"

"You, that's who! I was tryin' to warn you--this is the  
kiddie end of the pool." Kagura pointed toward the far side  
of the pool where "3m" was written proudly in blue. "That's  
the deep end. 3 meters. THAT'S where you should go diving."

"Uh..." was all Tomo could think of to say. And then: "Fine  
then! I'll just swim over THERE and perform the Ultra Tomo  
Cannonball Special AGAIN!" She grinned. "You all probably  
wanted an encore anyway."

"Need I remind you again, Tomo," said Yomi, "that this is  
the shallow end?" She pointed to the side of the pool,  
where the word "1m" was written. "It's only a meter deep.  
We're all in high school. You're too tall to swim here."

Undeterred, Tomo attempted to kick off from the shallow end  
of the pool. When that failed, she grabbed the rail and  
half-ran, half-dragged herself through the water until she  
reached the "2m" (two meters) mark and started swimming.

And then Osaka had another random thought. "Hey, if Tomo  
drowns--"

"--where does this spaced-out girl get such morbid  
thoughts--" thought Yomi.

"--here, she'd float to the top," Osaka continued, "but the  
water ain't deep enough here, so she can't float--does that  
mean she'll float to the deep end, and THEN float to the  
top?"

"Forget Tomo, I worry about you too," muttered Yomi.

"Let's go find out!" shouted Kagura. She was in goofing-off  
mode again, and everyone knew it. "Tomo! TOMO!"

Tomo splashed her head out of the water. "Huh?" She looked  
around dramatically. "Did I just hear an idiot call my  
name?"

"No, Osaka didn't call you, I did," snapped Kagura. "You  
know what? I oughta DROWN you for bein' so stupid. THEN  
we'll know the answer to Osaka's question!"

As stated, Kagura was in goofing-off mode again, so nobody  
really took it too seriously. Even if Kagura and Tomo (and  
sometimes Yomi) tended to "goof off" rather violently.

"I heard Osaka's question, you know," replied Tomo. "And  
with those big breasts of yours, I bet YOU'D be the one  
floating to the top!"

"What did you just say?"

Tomo changed direction and swam toward the middle of the  
pool. Kagura (an expert swimmer) ran to the deep end, dove  
in, and chased after Tomo.

Seconds later Kagura caught up with Tomo and both heads  
disappeared underwater accompanied by loud splashes and  
various limbs flailing around.

"Yare yare," muttered Yomi. (Translation: oh boy.) "Well,  
as long as bubbles are still coming outta that pool, I  
don't care," she said. Yes, it was truly just another day.


	3. Brain Dust

(Technical note: the "as part of a compound word" phrase  
used below refers to the on-reading of the character. Just  
so nobody gets confused by me trying to make this story  
accessible to those who don't know Japanese.) 

(Technical note II: All the on-readings mentioned below are  
real, though I'm not sure if I got Yomi's new word right.)

One sunny May afternoon, the Azumanga Daioh girls were in  
their science class. The topic of the day was human health,  
and somehow the topic got onto something that none of the  
students (not even Chiyo-chan) had ever heard of before:  
'suitoushou' (water on the brain).

Osaka stared straight ahead, her eyes glazing over. Kagura  
could sense the warning signs...Osaka was lost in thought.  
Again. Even though Kagura always made fun of Osaka for  
being a stupid "Bonkura" (not that Kagura herself was any  
better as a student) Kagura admired Osaka's wandering mind.  
_That girl is going to invent something completely random  
someday_, Kagura thought. _Or at least change the way we see  
the world._

"What's 'suitoushou' mean?" Osaka finally asked.

"Well," explained the science teacher, "it means there's  
too much fluid around the brain. Here, let me write it if  
that helps." And the teacher wrote the word on the  
chalkboard:

suitoushou sui (water) + tou (head) + shou (illness)

Osaka stared at the board.

"So what would happen if somebody got a 'ho' (ear of grain)  
on their brain? What would that be called?" Osaka asked  
innocently.

The teacher just stared at Osaka like she'd lost her mind.  
Actually, poor Osaka was used to being on the receiving end  
of such a stare.

"Ah...I suppose that would also be called 'suitoushou',"  
the teacher said, since 'ho' (ear of grain) would also be  
'sui' as part of a compound word.

"What about a comet? A comet could smack into somebody's  
head anytime, you know," Osaka continued.

"That'd be a 'suitoushou' as well," said the teacher,  
realizing where this was going.

"Um...what about a lead weight?" Osaka wanted to know.

"Another 'suitoushou'..." thought Kagura. "FINALLY there's  
a name for Osaka's strange mind," she said aloud.

"Actually, Osaka, sometimes I think your condition is  
called 'fuyuunou' (not having a brain)," Yomi stated.

"Osaka, quit bein' so stupid!" yelled Tomo from across the  
room. "Or I'm gonna take a 'tsuchi' (mallet) and give you  
yet another 'suitoushou' myself!"

Osaka finally stopped making puns. She turned to Tomo and  
tilted her head to one side. "Huuhhh? Is that contagious?"

"Apparently so," thought Sakaki, who'd also had her own  
vocabulary expanded by the punnish interchange.

"Tomo, you moron, 'tsuchi' would turn into 'tsui', so it'd  
be 'tsuitoushou'," Yomi countered. Anything to get Tomo to  
shut up. And Osaka too.

"Actually, both 'tsui' and 'sui' would be correct,"  
explained Chiyo-chan, "because 'tsuchi' could turn into  
either one in a compound word. But 'tsui' is more common."

"QUIT BEING SO DAMN PERFECT!" Tomo and Yomi shouted  
together. After a second of thought: "AND CUTE!"

"I wish I was cute," thought Sakaki sadly.

"Tomo, I made your favorite sushi today," answered Chiyo-  
chan.

"All is forgiven!" Tomo happily exclaimed.

Back to Osaka, who (thankfully) had run out of puns for now  
and decided to concentrate on something else. A semi-normal  
discussion of water on the brain (after all this time,  
they'd agreed that's what 'suitoushou' REALLY referred to)  
began and lasted through the entire period. The pun-loving  
Osakan was relatively quiet throughout that period.

Until break time.

"Naa, Chiyo-chan," Osaka suddenly greeted her best friend.  
"I been thinkin'."

"Aren't there laws against that?" asked Kagura with a  
playful grin, watching from the sidelines.

"If water gets on people's brains, does that mean it washes  
their brains clean?" Osaka wanted to know. It made sense  
that she'd ask the smart one.

"Are you still on that?" said Tomo. "Geez, even you don't  
stay on the same subject for THIS long!" Tomo got up.  
"Whatever, I'm outta here!" She stood up and walked away,  
muttering "where's Yomi?" as she left.

"Well," said Chiyo-chan, "the teacher said it's not really  
water. It just looks like water. And besides, it's supposed  
to be in that spongy stuff, not on your brain." Even Chiyo-  
chan had been confused by this part of the lecture. The  
teacher had wisely chosen to stay away from technical  
terms.

"No water on the brain?"

"Right!"

"So...what IS supposed to be on the brain?"

"Nothing. It just sorta sits there."

"But...but if there's never any liquid on the brain, then  
how does it get clean?"

"Huh?" By now Chiyo-chan was thoroughly confused. But she'd  
learned to expect this of her friend long ago.

Chiyo-chan patiently waited for Osaka to finish her  
ramblings. "Maybe I'll learn something too," thought Chiyo-  
chan. That was how she liked to learn--by talking to other  
people.

"I mean, it'd be like the inside of a computer," Osaka went  
on. "You can't open it up, but it's gotta get clean  
somehow."

"Uh-huh..." said Chiyo-chan, not knowing that computers can  
be opened up.

"Are there special cleaning tools for people's brains?"  
Then Osaka got an idea. "Hey, if I stick a Q-Tip way down  
in my ear, d'you think I'd be able to clean my brain?"

"N-No, don't do that, it's dangerous!" Chiyo-chan warned.  
"And I have the bad feeling she'd do it if nobody told her  
not to," she thought to herself.

"But what if my brain collected dust and I couldn't clean  
it?"

Kagura had no snappy comments. That last question was just  
too random.

At that point Yomi and Tomo walked up to Osaka, Chiyo-chan,  
and Kagura.

"Hey, what are you guys talking about?" asked Yomi.

"Osaka's still on that 'suitoushou' thing," replied Kagura,  
"and she's confusing the hell outta poor little Chiyo-  
chan."

Chiyo-chan, by the way, was desperately taking notes on  
Osaka's latest confusing statements in case Osaka went off  
on a tangent.

Osaka brightly turned to Yomi. "Hey Yomi!"

"Hey, Osaka."

"You drink lots of water, right?" asked Osaka, referring to  
Yomi's latest diet.

"Uh, yeah, why?"

"Since you got so much water...you got any water on your  
brain?"

Yomi was completely mystified.

"Nah, Yomi's got fat on her brain," Tomo smoothly replied.

"Excuse me?" Yomi turned to Tomo. "I've been working out,  
just so you know."

"This is gonna get messy," muttered Kagura.

"Fu...to...ru!" said Tomo, sing-song. (F...A...T!)

"Excuse me while I put you in a headlock with these  
'flabby' arms of mine," said Yomi, advancing on Tomo.

"Hey, I wasn't talking about your ar--ack!" Tomo's defense  
was cut off by Yomi's headlock. "Ack...can't breathe...  
need...air..."

"Muscle is heavier than fat, isn't it?" said Yomi. She  
rolled her eyes. "Get comfortable, Tomo, you're gonna be  
like this for a while."

"I'm squashed against your--aaackk!"

"Uh, Osaka?" said Kagura. "Please continue." Kagura was  
always entertained by the chaos around her.

"Not sure if that would work, though," replied Osaka.

"If what would work?" Now it was Kagura's turn to be  
confused.

Apparently Osaka had kept on thinkin' but hadn't kept on  
talkin'. So once she started talkin' again, she switched  
back to vocalizing her thoughts. Without explaining the gap  
in between.

"Trying to use Pledge or Swiffer on people's brains," Osaka  
replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  
"I guess a Swiffer handle wouldn't fit in a person's ear."

"So does that mean Pledge would work?" Now Kagura had fully  
joined the conversation.

"I guess so," said Osaka, "since you could just spray it  
and it'd be able to go in there on its own."

At this point Chiyo-chan had given up all hope of trying to  
understand Osaka's latest tangent while Kagura marveled at  
the things her friend thought of.

"I don't know," Kagura finally said. "I just don't know."


	4. Sakakisaaan!

Author's notes: You might not want to read this if you like  
Kaorin/Sakaki pairings. In my opinion it would NEVER work.  
Kaorin is a possessive little brat who spends the entire  
anime/manga obsessing over Sakaki. (Sakaki might go either  
way--you never know--but that's getting off the subject.)  
Kaorin worships an idealized version of Sakaki and has NO  
idea what Sakaki's really like. Also, this may be OOC for  
Sakaki, but this is the first time we see her angry... 

More notes: I'm normally a comedy writer, but sometimes,  
life isn't always funny. Also, this story continues the  
events of "Brain Dust" from a totally different POV.

-----------------------------------------------------------

It was another boring afternoon just before Yukari's class.  
Tomo was attempting to goof off while Yomi was attempting  
to strangle her. Osaka was thinking random thoughts--going  
on about people's brains collecting dust or something like  
that. Chiyo-chan was desperately trying to understand her  
friend's confusing ramblings.

Sakaki stood up from her desk and surveyed the room.

"I was sick yesterday so I need to borrow somebody's  
notes," she thought to herself. "Yomi's smart--no, she's  
busy putting Tomo in a headlock with those 'flabby' arms of  
hers. Chiyo-chan--nah, she's busy taking her own notes.  
Kagura--I love her but English really isn't her strong  
subject."

Sakaki sighed. "Kaorin kind of creeps me out--she's way too  
clingy--but she has very neat writing. I'll ask her."

Sakaki crossed the room and stopped at Chihiro's desk.  
Kaorin was standing next to Chihiro, not really wanting to  
go back to Kimura's room.

"Hey, Sakaki," called Chihiro, casually as if Sakaki  
stopped by Kaorin's desk every day.

"Hello, Chihiro," replied Sakaki.

Upon hearing the name and voice of her "lover" Kaorin  
turned around. "Sa--Sa--Sakaki-saaan!" she squealed,  
practically fainting with delight.

Sakaki scratched her head nervously. "Ah...Kaorin..."

"Sakaki-saaan!" Again with the high-pitched voice.

"Kaorin...I need to ask you something...would you--"

"AAHHH! YES! Yes I'm free Friday night! AHHH!"

A slight tinge barely colored Sakaki's cheeks. Even if  
Sakaki didn't like Kaorin--she preferred Kagura instead--  
she still appreciated that attention. (Or at least she used  
to appreciate that attention. But that comes later.)

"Actually, Kaorin, would you--lend me your notebook,  
please?"

"Oh yes! Here you go, Sakaki-san!"

Sakaki accepted the notebook--why are there hearts doodled  
all over it, Sakaki wondered--and walked back to her desk.

Sakaki sat down at her desk and laid the notebook on it.  
"Let's see, what were we discussing in English class  
yesterday..."

Sakaki casually flipped open the notebook to the first page  
where a heart stared back at her.

KAORIN + SAKAKI-SAN FOREVER

"No surprise there," commented Sakaki. She idly flipped  
through the pages, here and there noting Kaorin's tidy  
writing, flipping forward to yesterday's date.

Until Sakaki noticed something--dated last week--occupying  
a page to itself.

What Sakaki saw horrified her. But she knew it was no joke.  
It was right there, in Kaorin's neat handwriting.

Sakaki glared at Kaorin. Kaorin's back was to Sakaki as she  
chatted with Chihiro.

Sakaki was pissed. Oh, Kaorin had it coming this time!

Suddenly--Sakaki stood up from her desk, knocking her chair  
backwards, and slammed her fist on the desk.

"KAAA-OOO-RIIINNN!"

The entire class froze. Sakaki never raised her voice.  
Kaorin didn't even know who yelled her name until Chihiro  
turned her stunned friend around.

Yomi dropped Tomo, who quickly picked herself up and hung  
her arm around the taller girl's shoulder.

Osaka's latest comment about whether to use Pledge or  
Swiffer on people's brain-dust was instantly forgotten.

Chiyo-chan dropped her pencil. It rolled off her desk and  
clattered to the floor. Nobody, including her, bothered to  
pick it up.

Sakaki's ample bust rose and fell, rose and fell, as she  
took in big, angry breaths. Rose and fell...and for once  
Kaorin didn't stare.

Kaorin turned white as she stood to face Sakaki, who now  
wore an extremely pissed-off look never seen before.

"Sa-sa-sa-sa--"

Chihiro rolled her eyes. "I'll say it for her." In an  
artificially high voice, Chihiro said, "Yes, Sakaki-saaan?"

"Hey, that's pretty good," muttered Tomo.

"Shut the hell up Tomo, now's not the time," muttered Yomi.

"Would you mind explaining something to me?" asked Sakaki,  
her voice low and deadly serious. (I didn't even know  
Sakaki's voice could DO that!)

Kaorin had no comment.

"Kaorin, you bitch, are you that fucking jealous? Or maybe  
obsessive?" Sakaki asked, raising her voice a little. "I'm  
talking about THIS!"

Sakaki turned the notebook around so Kaorin--and the rest  
of the class--could see it. On the page was a crude drawing  
of a girl who was obviously Sakaki. And pointing to  
Sakaki's breasts was an arrow captioned "96cm!".

"You FUCKING STALKER!"

Sakaki's outburst shocked everyone. Kaorin was shaking like  
popping popcorn.

Sakaki turned the notebook back to herself and turned the  
page. Flipped through a couple more pages to see what else  
there was.

"What...the HELL?"

Sakaki again turned the notebook around--angrily! Chihiro's  
jaw dropped open.

"Kaorin-chan, so that's what you were hiding this morning,"  
she observed. Even Chihiro was surprised. As Kaorin's best  
friend, she was aware of Kaorin's crush on Sakaki--who  
wasn't?--but even Chihiro thought this latest development  
was taking that crush a bit too far.

It was a map! Leading directly from Kaorin's house to  
Sakaki's house. Dated yesterday. Scribbled near Sakaki's  
street was a note--"Sakaki-san eats dinner with me  
tomorrow!"--encircled with a large heart. And a heart--  
stretched to look like a speech-bubble--coming from  
Sakaki's house: "Ka + Sa ITSUMO!"

"You possessive little BRAT!" Sakaki roared. "Who the hell  
told you where I live? And this...'Sakaki-san eats dinner  
with me tomorrow'?"

Sakaki strode around to the front of her desk. "When  
exactly were you planning on telling me about this?"

Chihiro took it upon herself to face Sakaki's wrath. She  
motioned with her hands--turn the page, turn the page!

Sakaki ripped the page out of the notebook and turned it  
over, afraid of what she might find on the back.

"Ask Sakaki to have lunch with you under the tree in the  
courtyard," Kaorin had written to herself in her tidy  
handwriting. "She'll say yes because she's never refused  
you before." Sakaki read the words aloud.

"Disgusting," Sakaki spat the word.

"Hasn't Kaorin figured out Sakaki says yes just to get her  
to shut up?" Kagura thought. "Even I could see that."

"While you're eating lunch, try to talk to her," Sakaki  
continued reading. "Get to know her--Sakaki-san's SOOOO  
cool!"

Tomo stifled a laugh upon hearing Kaorin's catchphrase--  
especially coming from Sakaki's angry lips.

"After lunch, ask her if she wants to eat dinner with you,"  
Sakaki continued reading from the torn page. "And when she  
says yes--"

Sakaki stopped reading and glared at Kaorin. "So what made  
you think I'd automatically say yes?" Sakaki turned to  
Chihiro. "Chihiro, I appreciate your help, but this is  
REALLY not your problem!"

Chihiro took a hint and shut up.

"I can't read any more," Sakaki announced. She crumpled the  
page up in one fist and aimed that fist at Kaorin.

"Wanna know what I think of your map? Here's what I think  
of your fucking map!" Sakaki uncrumpled the paper, strode  
to the open window--and ripped the paper to shreds!

The destroyed shreds floated down, down, out the window.

Sakaki turned from the window towards Kaorin. "If this  
wasn't a third-floor window I'd throw you the fuck out of  
it!" shouted Sakaki, now flushed beyond belief. Yet still  
she managed to maintain her composure, as compared with  
Kaorin, who had completely lost hers and turned into a  
quaking bowl of Jell-O. Cherry flavored.

Without looking, Sakaki hurled the notebook out the window.  
Time stood still in the seconds it took the notebook to  
fall down, down, into the fountain below. The sound of the  
splash rose up into the third-floor classroom window and  
seemed to echo there.

"I'm disgusted," said Sakaki, just this side of raging.  
Poor Sakaki was BOILING inside. Kaorin had been stalking  
Sakaki for THREE YEARS? Why couldn't this whiny little turd  
just take a hint and leave Sakaki alone?

"Kaorin." Sakaki stepped towards Kaorin, her voice purring  
dangerously.

"Ka-o-rin." Sakaki stepped closer to Kaorin, in that same  
sing-song tone.

"Kaorin!" Sakaki stopped just one desk's width away from  
Kaorin. Sakaki is 174cm tall. So naturally she towered over  
Kaorin, who was eye level with Sakaki's neck.

Chihiro respectfully backed off. As much as she liked  
Kaorin (as a friend), Chihiro knew that Kaorin was finally  
getting what was coming to her.

"I told Kaorin it was a bad idea to try to impress  
Sakaki like this," Chihiro thought. Personally, Chihiro  
thought Sakaki was cool, but that's as far as it went.

"S-s--Sakaki-sa-a-n?"

"When you were obsessing over me," Sakaki said, with that  
dangerous I'm-gonna-choke-you-in-two-seconds gaze, "did you  
ever consider MY feelings? For one second?"

No response. "Well? Did you?"

Still no response. "DID YOU?"

Kaorin's mouth gaped open like a fish. "I--I just--you're  
so--"

"That's it!" Sakaki yelled. "I have HAD ENOUGH of this  
shit!"

Sakaki pushed Kaorin backwards. Kaorin promptly crashed  
into Chihiro's seat.

Chiyo-chan had had enough too. She jumped up from her seat  
and ran towards Sakaki and Kaorin.

"Chiyo-chan, you're so brave," thought Osaka.

"Please--please don't fight, Sakaki!" Chiyo-chan pleaded.

Even in her angered state, Sakaki would NEVER hurt Chiyo-  
chan. EVER. But Sakaki did glare at Chiyo-chan until poor  
Chiyo-chan backed off.

Sakaki turned her attention back to Kaorin, who was reduced  
to staring fearfully at Sakaki.

Sakaki laid her hands firmly on Kaorin's shoulders.

"Let me tell YOU something," announced Sakaki, struggling  
to control herself.

Must...not...throttle...Kaorin...thelittlebitch...

"Of course you didn't think about my feelings," Sakaki went  
on. "You know why?"

Kaorin shook her head, unable to escape Sakaki's powerful  
grip.

"I'll tell you why," said Sakaki. "Because you don't KNOW  
my feelings! You have NO idea what I'm really like, do you?  
DO YOU?"

Kaorin shook her head. Couldn't argue with that logic!

"How do you think I feel? I just found out I've been  
stalked for the past three years!"

Sakaki sighed.

"My breast size...a map to my house...I don't even want to  
know what else was in that notebook."

And Chihiro didn't want to tell her.

Kaorin was getting desperate. She'd never been this close  
to Sakaki for this long! One chance...one way to apologize.

Kaorin changed her eyes from fearful to loving. It was  
difficult--considering her current situation--but she found  
the courage to do it.

"Sakaki...I...love...you..." Kaorin said in English.

"Why's she using English all of a sudden?" thought Chiyo-  
chan.

Sakaki's face went blank all of a sudden. She was surprised  
not only by what Kaorin said, but the fact that she'd said  
it in English. Was the use of English supposed to add an  
'exotic' or 'romantic' air to Kaorin's simple statement?

"Well, two can play at that game," thought Sakaki, not  
fazed in the least. Sakaki stared into Kaorin's eyes,  
without much of an expression. Sakaki's usual "coolness"  
was now back. Kaorin was making a BIG mistake now!

In very smooth Japanese: "If you want to use English..."

In equally smooth English: "There is a saying from Ireland.  
'I hope that a cat eats you, and I hope that the devil eats  
that cat!'"

Sakaki hated to invoke cats as curses, but she hoped Kaorin  
understood enough of the message to know that Sakaki meant  
business.

"Wow, Sakaki's English is pretty good," thought Chihiro,  
who understood most of it, but had never heard of that  
"Ireland" place.

"Wonder what Sakaki said just now?" thought Kagura. "All I  
understood was 'cat'. Whatever, that was awesome! Check out  
Kaorin's face!"

Kaorin looked confused.

"What I meant by that is," said Sakaki, and she translated.

"But--Sakaki-san--I...love you..." said Kaorin, now back to  
Japanese.

She didn't "get the message" at all! "Kaorin, you fucker!"  
Sakaki finally slapped Kaorin. Hard. "I don't fucking love  
you back! Get that through your tiny little brain! I don't  
love you! I will never love you! If I catch you near my  
house--"--Sakaki didn't know, and didn't want to know,  
whether Kaorin had memorized that map--"--I will seriously  
call the police. Got that?"

Kaorin held her red-and-white cheek--Sakaki had actually  
slapped her hard enough to draw blood!

Sakaki noticed two thin streaks of blood on her palm.

Kaorin burst into tears.

"Kami-sama, what have I DONE?" Sakaki dropped her blood-  
stained palm to her side.

Sakaki ran from the room, long black hair streaming behind  
her as she ran. Only Sakaki's friends noticed that Sakaki  
was near tears.

Sakaki's friends took off running after her. Kagura--the  
fastest--caught up to Sakaki first.

Kagura was there to catch Sakaki as she collapsed--from  
shock or exhaustion, Kagura didn't know, and didn't care.

The others caught up to Sakaki and Kagura.

"Sakaki, are you all right?" Chiyo-chan asked.

"Damn Sakaki, that was awesome!" Tomo cheered. "It's about  
TIME somebody taught Kaorin a lesson!"

"Tomo..." cautioned Yomi.

But Sakaki wasn't listening. She was passed out in Kagura's  
arms.

"She don't look so hot," offered Osaka.

"Guys," Kagura said quietly, "not now, OK? She's had a  
rough day."


	5. Make Me Laugh

**Thank you for over 1000 hits!**

* * *

_**Omake**_ "Kaorin Popularity Contest"  
(based on ch 4 reviews as of 2006-08-06) 

For: 4  
Against: 5

Kaorin's supporters: Look what you've done! You've bashed  
poor little Kaorin! What do you have to say for yourself?

Me: (sweatdrops) Uhh...fanservice? (looks around nervously)

Ken Akamatsu (not me): Hey, that's my line!

* * *

The preceding omake was meant to be tongue-in-cheek. Thanks  
to everybody who voiced an opinion on Kaorin! 

By the way, Kaorin will be portrayed in a better light in  
later chapters, because I believe in balancing characters.  
Sakaki will not get that angry again.

Also, in this chapter, get to know Osaka's "lovely accent"!  
Kansai-ben's awesome! Don't worry, everything's translated  
(in this and future chapters). Translations follow in  
parentheses.

We now return to lightness and hilarity, starting with our  
favorite wildcat, TOMO!

* * *

Tomo bounced into the classroom one June morning. 

"I've been thinking 'bout this for a while now..." she  
announced to anybody who was listening. Which, if they had  
their way, would be nobody.

"...but NONE of you are living up to your full potential!"  
she finished.

"As if," thought Kagura. "Like SHE'S got any potential. At  
least I'VE got my swimming. I've been training hard, and I  
could even go pro!"

"Oh, you think so?" Chiyo-chan asked Tomo innocently.

"Hey, I'm bein' serious here!" Tomo retorted. "If I had  
Sakaki's athletic skills and Chiyo-chan's brain I'd--"

"And you can have my power to be on time," Osaka  
interrupted. "And to forget stuff."

Kagura chuckled to herself. "You make me laugh, kid," she  
thought. Of all her friends, Kagura probably held Osaka  
dearest, right next to Sakaki and Chiyo-chan.

Tomo...well, half the class would probably kill Tomo  
without a second thought. (The other half was probably  
about as hyper as Tomo.) Kagura had to admit, though, that  
Tomo was always there to liven up a boring day. She liked  
to think she kept Tomo around for her entertainment value.

Kagura went off in her own world for a few moments,  
remembering a few of Tomo's latest crazy antics, such as  
the incident at the school cafeteria two days ago.

Next thing Kagura knew, Tomo was saying, "It's YOUR fault,  
Osaka! Your 'powers' got mixed in there and everything got  
all weird."

Kagura had missed that part of Tomo's ramblings, so she had  
no idea what Tomo was talking about. But she decided to  
stick up for Osaka anyway.

"Oi, Tomo," said Kagura, striding up to her.

"Hey, baka," Tomo greeted her casually. Nothing new there.  
Kagura made a mental note to smack Tomo upside the head for  
that remark. Later.

"You didn't take MY abilities into account," Kagura said.

"That's 'cause you don't have any," Tomo replied matter-of-  
factly.

"What? Of course I do!" Kagura flexed her biceps, which  
were quite impressive. 28cm! "My physical prowess is--"

"I already got that from Sakaki," said Tomo. "I don't need  
yours."

"Quit comparin' me to Sakaki!" said Kagura. "Sakaki and I  
aren't rivals anymore--now we're friends! Besides, we're  
kinda into different sports anyway."

Sakaki smiled when Kagura said "Sakaki and I aren't rivals  
anymore--now we're friends!" Sakaki wondered if this meant  
she might have a chance with Kagura, but decided not to  
push her luck. Not right now.

Kagura had had enough. Time to put Tomo down for a while.  
"If anyone here's got no abilities, it's YOU, Tomo!" Kagura  
paused for effect. "I mean, even Osaka's probably got some  
special ability none of us knows about."

"Osaka is pretty quick with those puns, though," Kagura  
thought. "Wonder if she sits around thinkin' up puns."

Kagura didn't have time to ponder that 'cause Tomo suddenly  
said: "Actually, there IS something I'm good at."

"No there isn't! You're no good at sports, you're no good  
at studying, you're nothin'!" Sakaki had once told Kagura  
about the time Tomo had tried to compete with Sakaki in  
sports, and Chiyo-chan in school. Tomo's well-intentioned  
efforts had failed miserably, although Tomo did manage to  
'stalemate' Chiyo-chan. Tomo don't give up!

"Well, my dad always says--Tomo, you're real good at  
poundin' my back," Tomo replied.

"Uhh, good for you," Kagura said. "If that's true then why  
don't you become one of those massage therapists that  
pounds people's backs for a living?" Kagura had never met  
one but she'd heard of them.

"Hey, don't make fun of me!" Tomo replied. "Besides, I'm  
gonna join the ICPO!"

"Uhh, good for you," Kagura said again. She made a mental  
note--yes another one--to get on the Internet during study  
hall and find out what ICPO was.

Kagura knew ICPO was an English word but was still amused  
by the fact that the letters ICPO (pronounced the Japanese  
way) sounded like the Japanese words "Indigo Selfishness  
Hopping" (Ai Shii Pyon).

"I am!" Tomo insisted.

"Like I said, good for you."

"I am! I really am! One of these days you'll be glad I'm an  
ICPO officer when a bad guy harasses you and I kick his  
butt! Then you'll be like, Hey Tomo, that was so awesome, I  
can't believe I made fun of you in high school--"

"Whatever," said Kagura, and walked away.

"Wonder where Osaka is," Kagura thought. "She never ceases  
to amuse me." Kagura grinned.

Kagura stopped at a nearby desk. Osaka was bein' herself  
again. This time there was one of those Neco-Coneco dolls  
lying on a desk. Osaka put her chin on the desk and tried  
to look Neco (or was it Coneco?) in the eye.

"This oughta be good," Kagura thought. "Wonder what's goin'  
through Osaka's mind right now?"

Osaka's goofy grin hid the most active imagination ever  
unleashed upon this world and zero inhibitions about  
unleashing it. Unfortunately, Osaka chose not to give her  
opinion this time, merely grinning at the Neco-Coneco  
plushie.

"Nee, Osaka, nani o shiteru ka?" (Hey, Osaka, what are you  
doing?)

"Aa?" Osaka turned to Kagura with an amused/confused look  
on her face.

"Tanen shiteta ka?" (Were you thinking about something  
else?)

"Mochiron, aho, tanen no ma ni shitota na!" (Of course,  
silly, I've been doing that for YEARS!)

"Damn, Osaka's quick," thought Kagura. She decided to throw  
another curveball--

"Hontou ni?" (Really?) "No way she can come up with--"

"Hontou ni," Osaka replied, turning Neco-Coneco over to  
show her answer.

"Huh?" Now Kagura was confused. "Osaka, did I just hear  
standard Japanese come out of your mouth?"

"Iya, sora 'honma ni' tte ya." (Nah, that's 'honma ni'.)

"'Ya' tte? Kouten da zo!" (Did you say 'ya'? Much better!)

Sakaki, who was standing near Osaka, spoke up.

"'Hontou ni' tte wa mata 'sakasa' tte," offered Sakaki.  
('Hontou ni' also means 'upside down'.)

(A/N: 'Sakasa' and 'sakasama' are far more common than  
'hontou suru', which according to my dictionary is rare.)

"Ohhh...damn Sakaki, you're good!"

Sakaki flushed slightly, pleased by the attention from  
Kagura.

Kagura's face showed open admiration.

"Nee, Osaka," Kagura said, "wanna come over and play video  
games?"

"Well that was random," thought Sakaki.

"Is there a bread-eating video game?" asked Osaka.

Kagura sweatdropped. "Ahh, no, I don't think so--but I've  
got some awesome racing games!"

"Aww, no bread...Ah well. Sure, I'll come over," Osaka  
replied happily. "Where's your house?"

Kagura told her.

"Be there at 4, 'kay?"

"I will!"

Kagura noticed that Sakaki looked a little--sad, almost.  
"Don't worry, Sakaki," Kagura said, "we can go jogging  
tomorrow. And you WILL eat my dust for sure!" Kagura  
flashed her trademark grin. Sakaki brightened.

The rest of the day passed without incident, unless you  
count Tomo proudly recalling how she studied hard and made  
it into the same high school as Yomi, or Osaka/Chiyo-chan's  
unforgettable Manzai performance. (Nandeyanen!)

Just before 4 PM Kagura was in her room getting ready for  
Osaka's arrival. The Western-style sofa-bed was slung back  
in sofa mode, perfect for relaxing on. The cupholders in  
the middle divider (which could be folded up) sported a  
couple of Cokes, one in front of the other. Two video game  
controllers sat on the floor, ready for action. The first  
game was Mario Kart: Double Dash!--yeah, a "classic",  
Kagura had to admit, but the random silliness would help to  
break the ice.

4 PM came and went. At 4:15 Kagura thought "Where is that  
girl? I hope she remembered to come today!"

Kagura decided to go outside and see if Osaka was wandering  
up and down the street--Kagura had to admit, her house was  
kind of tucked away, so she couldn't really blame Osaka  
for--

"Heeyyy Kaaaguuraaa..." Osaka said in that spacy/cute voice  
of hers as soon as Kagura opened the front door.

As soon as Kagura opened the front door, there was Osaka,  
inspecting a caterpillar on Kagura's lawn.

Osaka immediately stood up.

"Kangaetota de." (I been thinkin'.)

"Sou ka?" ('Bout what?)

"Kemushi ni tsuite." ('Bout caterpillars.)

(kemushi hair-bug caterpillar)

"What about 'em?"

"Well, we call 'em hair-bugs...but tarantulas got hair too,  
right? And they're bugs, so why don't we call THEM hair-  
bugs? Aahhh, my head hurts...akan ya..."

"Mmm...that's a good point," Kagura admitted.

"Naa, Kagura," Osaka interrupted, "is it 4 PM yet?"

Kagura slapped her forehead. Osaka got the hint.

"Aaa! O-matase shiten na! Sunmahen!" (Ahh! I made you  
wait! I'm sorry!)

"Aa, kamawanai," Kagura said. (Oh, it's fine.) "You and  
your lovely accent come on inside."

Kagura stepped back and Osaka stepped inside. Osaka removed  
her shoes and carefully laid them down in the entryway  
after checking to make sure no unsuspecting insects would  
be squished.

Satisfied that some innocent beetle would live another day,  
Osaka followed Kagura into her kitchen.

"My parents are watching a rabu-rabu movie in their room,  
so they won't bother us," Kagura said.

"Ohh," Osaka said innocently.

"Wanna snack?" Kagura asked. "I already put some Cokes in  
my room."

"Nothin' spicy," Osaka said, and they both laughed.

Osaka settled on pocky. Kagura popped a few Pop Rocks and  
grabbed some pocky to take to her room, which was down the  
hall from the kitchen.

The two headed over to Kagura's room and flopped back on  
the sofa-bed, one on each side of the Cokes.

"My Coke's the one in the front," Kagura stated casually.  
"Better view of the TV, so my Coke can watch me kick your  
butt."

"Ohh," Osaka said innocently.

"Say," said Kagura, "ever played this game before?"

"Yeah. Back in Osaka my sisters and I used to play this all  
the time."

"Cool, so I don't have to explain the rules. Well then,  
let's play!"

Kagura, silly, you could've started a conversation about  
Osaka (the city) and gotten to know Osaka (the person)  
better! Well, maybe later.

Osaka was Player 1. At the character selection screen she  
click-clicked, happy with the result: Mario and chibi-Mario  
were her team.

Kagura's cursor roamed for a while before she settled on  
Wario (muahaha!) and Luigi.

They decided to play the Mushroom Cup. Halfway through the  
Dry Dry Desert level, Kagura was in the lead (barely--Osaka  
had apparently had more practice than she'd let on) and  
threw back a banana peel. For some reason, Osaka drove  
straight into it and threw herself into a skid, narrowly  
avoiding the sandworms before she regained control of her  
kart.

"I've always wanted to slip on a banana peel and fall on my  
face," Osaka said. "Just once."

Kagura sweatdropped.

Thanks to Osaka's "taking one for the team" Kagura won the  
race, and the cup (by a slim margin). Kagura didn't rub in  
her victory like she would've with Sakaki, because she  
didn't want to spoil the mood.

"Besides, not everybody's as competitive as I am," she  
reminded herself.

"Well, that was fun," said Osaka. "Wanna play somethin'  
else?"

"Yeah," said Kagura. "Say, what's your favorite game,  
Osaka?"

"I like word games..."

"Crap, I'm no good at those," Kagura said.

"Even though I was lookin' pretty good back at school  
today," she thought. "Never was the type for that before.  
Maybe just bein' around Osaka makes it easier for me to  
come up with those witty lines."

"Aww," said Osaka.

"Kamawanai," Kagura replied mildly. (Don't worry about it.)

"We could watch some Manzai on TV if ya wanna," Kagura  
continued, reaching for the remote sitting on the divider  
while looking towards the TV.

Osaka happened to reach for it too, also while looking  
towards the TV.

Their hands met on the remote. Both twitched in surprise,  
but neither one moved her hand.

"Aa..." was all Kagura could think of to say. The wordsmith  
was silent too.

"Think of something," Kagura thought to herself. "Words.  
Use words! Any word will do!"

"Ooops...sunmahen," Osaka said (Ooops...sorry) after  
several seconds, withdrawing her hand.

THAT instantly broke the ice.

"Sunmahen?" asked Kagura, beginning to laugh. "Even the  
master of words has nothing to say!" she teased.

"Master of words? Tomo says I'm the Master of the Yawn, but  
that's about it..."

Kagura flopped back on the couch. "Who cares what Tomo  
says? I'VE got something to say that she'll REALLY talk  
about if she ever finds out about it!"

"Is this like my scary story?" Osaka asked. "She really had  
something to say about that!"

Kagura laughed at the memory.

"One night," Osaka had said in her unforgettable accent,  
"when I was alone in my room," she'd paused for effect, "I  
smelled a fart that wasn't mine."

"Not really," said Kagura, chuckling, "but I do like the  
way you manage to rattle Tomo."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really." Kagura was being sincere. "You know, Osaka,  
you're pretty good with words, you know that?"

"Aa...thanks, Kagura."

"Hey, no problem."

Kagura took a deep breath. "Here it comes," she thought.

"Nee, Osaka," Kagura continued, "since you're so good with  
words, I've got a few words for you."

A faint blush spread across Kagura's cheeks. She wasn't the  
type to get embarrassed easily, but this was important--  
this was something she'd been wanting to say for a while.

"Boku wa...Osaka-san ga suki da," Kagura finally said after  
a little pause. (I...like you, Miss Osaka.)

Osaka said nothing but simply flushed.

"Sukiaitai ka?" (Wanna go out with me?)

"Did I make it sound casual like I wanted? I didn't say it  
too fast, did I?" were the first things Kagura thought of.  
"Why's she suddenly looking at me like that? What if she's  
not interested in me like that? What if--"

"Ee," Osaka interrupted Kagura's thoughts, "sukiaitaa naa."  
(Yeah, I wanna go out with you.) "Ima wa?" (How 'bout now?)

"Sure!" replied Kagura brightly, glad that she was finally  
successful in her love life. "C'mon over on this side," she  
said, grabbing the remote and her Coke and scooting over.

Osaka happily crossed over to Kagura's side of the sofa bed  
and the two of them just hung out for hours, getting to  
know each other, chatting, laughing.

It was almost 10:30 PM when Kagura finally bothered to look  
at the clock.

"Crap! Sorry to keep you so late, Osaka! I'm sure you have  
homework to do, and--"

"--Like we ever do our homework anyway," Osaka interrupted,  
and they both laughed. "We're the Bonklers, remember?"

"You know you're not supposed to call US the Bonklers!"

"Really?" Osaka asked, like she didn't know. (By this point  
Kagura knew she really did know but Osaka was just being  
silly.)

"Doesn't matter," said Kagura. "Let's just copy off Tomo's  
homework tomorrow. She IS our 'teammate' after all."

"Ee naa." (Sounds good.)

Kagura offered to walk Osaka home (since it was dark) but  
Osaka politely declined.

"One step at a time," Kagura reminded herself.

The next morning before homeroom class, Osaka was kinda  
tired (no surprise) and Kagura was tired (yes surprise).

"Why are you two so tired today?" Tomo--the ever-genki  
girl--asked Kagura. Loudly. "Ohhhhhh, I know!" she went on.  
"You went to Osaka's house and drank eleven cups of coffee  
and stayed up AAALLLLLL night long, didn'tcha? Didn'tcha?  
YoudidIknowit! Kyaaaaa!"

Tomo. Fever pitch. Hyper. Wildcat. Gotta love her. Tomo.

"That was YOU, Tomo," Yomi answered mildly. "And you were  
at MY house. Loudly." Yomi sighed. "How the hell did I  
get any sleep?"

"Yomi's just mad 'cause she couldn't have any coffee 'cause  
I drank AALLLL the coffee in the house and I kinda borrowed  
her CDs too and--"

"Hai, hai..." said Kagura tiredly. (Uh huh, uh huh...)  
Tired or not, Kagura was in an especially good mood today,  
considering yesterday. So was Osaka, but she'd already put  
her face down for her morning nap.

"Why's Osaka always sleeping during class?" thought Kagura.  
"She a night owl or something?"

Tomo rambled on and for once Kagura didn't yell at her to  
shut up, just repeating "Hai, hai" every so often. Yomi,  
seeing how Kagura was putting up with Tomo so well today,  
also didn't tell Tomo to shut up. She'd heard it all and  
more for the last 12 hours or so anyway.

Yukari, however, was not so kind. Entering the room in her  
usual goofy/pissed/hard-to-tell mood, she slammed the door  
open and dramatically threw down a pile of papers (her  
usual entrance).

"TOMO SHUT THE HELL UP!" yelled Yukari, attempting to  
control her (as much as she hated to admit it) favorite  
student.

"Not gonna happen," Yomi spoke up. "She's waaayyy too far  
gone for that..."

"Aaahhh! Tomo gone wild!" Tomo yelled happily.

"Grr! Tomo, if you're gonna be loud and hyper," shouted  
Yukari, "then put that energy to good use!"

"Want me to sing?" Tomo asked hyperly. "I borrowed Yomi's  
CDs last night and listened to them nineteen times and now  
I know AALLL the words to AALLL the songs and if you want I  
can--"

"NO!" Yukari threw a piece of chalk at Tomo. It hit Chiyo-  
chan, but Yukari didn't care. She was already winding up  
for another throw. "Get out of here Tomo!"

"Waaahhhh!" whined Tomo. Tomo don't give up!

"Get out of here," Yukari repeated, "and make faces at  
Nyamo's class!"

"Yay!" Tomo bolted from the room, knocking over half a  
dozen desks on her way out.

Two minutes later, Tomo bolted back INTO the room, this  
time with a piece of chalk sticking out of her left  
nostril.

"I guess Nyamo doesn't like it when you run into her  
classroom and yell BEEDAA!" Tomo rambled with a big grin,  
performing the "be-da!" gesture for emphasis.

"Idiot P.E. teachers," replied Yukari.

"STRONG idiot P.E. teachers," rambled Tomo, "so if you'll  
excuse me Tomothegreat is gonna go and pants Kimura soooooo  
JAAAA NEEEE!" Tomo took off running through the still-open  
door.

"Run Tomo!" shouted Kagura.

"Not sure if Kaorin would want to see that," muttered Yomi,  
knowing full well that Tomo would do it anyway.

"Doesn't matter to me, I'm through with Kaorin," Sakaki  
thought silently, staring placidly out the window. Thanks  
to Sakaki's Aura of Cool (tm), nobody else noticed that  
thought. And within seconds, the thought passed, and  
Sakaki's mind drifted back to cute things. Clouds shaped  
like puppies...a Mont Blanc cake in a decorated bowl...  
Chiyo-chan at a petting zoo...

That last image would probably be mind-melting-ly cute for  
Sakaki.

Five minutes later... (and Tomo did NOT come back in the  
room)

"AIIIIEEEEE!"

The high-pitched feminine scream ripped through the  
building.

"There's only ONE girl who screams THAT high," stated Yomi  
bluntly. We all know who that was.

"ALL RIGHT TOMO!" yelled Yukari, though nobody ever found  
out whether Tomo actually heard that. "Geez, that Kimura's  
such a CREEP..."

Yukari turned back to her class. "Now where were we?"

Tomo did not return for the rest of Yukari's class,  
although they did hear running footsteps every now and  
then.

At lunch that day, several students noticed Kimura's pants  
hanging from a tree near a certain third-floor window.  
Nobody really wanted to know how they got there.

Sakaki walked up to Kagura during lunch.

"Kagura," she asked, "can I talk to you? In the courtyard,  
please."

"Ahh, sure," Kagura replied. She was still a little sleepy,  
but she'd slept through science class (Osaka slept through  
it too), so she felt better.

The two athletes walked over to the courtyard and sat under  
a tree. Both decided to avoid what was rapidly becoming  
known as the Kimura Tree.

Kagura began. "What's up, Sakaki?"

"Kagura," Sakaki began nervously, "you said yesterday we  
were friends, not rivals, right?"

"What I meant was," Kagura replied, "you and I still  
compete with each other, but we're friends no matter what.  
We compete to have fun. But yeah, we're friends, So, what's  
up?"

"I was...ah...wondering, if you'd like to be...a little  
more than friends..."

Kagura's mouth dropped open. "Wow, Sakaki, after that time  
you beat the crap outta Kaorin I thought you just didn't go  
that way at all." Sakaki's face darkened at the mention of  
Kaorin's name. "Whoa, sorry about that, Sakaki. Guess I  
shouldn't mention her, huh?" Kagura scratched the back of  
her head nervously.

"It's...fine, Kagura...ah, my question..."

"Oh yeah, your question." Kagura stifled a yawn. "Sorry,  
Sakaki, I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night. Think  
it was like 4 hours or something."

"Anyway," Kagura continued, gazing into the distance, "I  
gotta say, you're an awesome friend, Sakaki..."

Sakaki brightened.

"...and I'd like to keep it that way." Kagura turned to  
Sakaki and tilted her face with concern. "I'm sorry,  
Sakaki."

"It's OK," said Sakaki quietly.

"Look, it's nothing personal," said Kaorin quietly, "but I  
already have someone I like."

"Sou." (I see.) Sakaki's face was a little sad, but she had  
a LOT of self-control.

"I know you wouldn't ask this on your own 'cause you don't  
like to pry...but, do ya wanna know who it is?"

Sakaki paused. "Do I really want to know?" she thought.  
"Well, it'd be a lot better than letting my imagination  
figure it out," she reasoned with herself.

"Dare?" (Who is it?)

"Osaka."

Sakaki grinned, surprised. "Her? Why?"

Kagura grinned, glad the tense moment was over. "Well, she  
really makes me laugh, for one thing. Sometimes I get a  
little too serious and I forget to just kick back and have  
fun."

Suddenly Kaorin popped out of the woodwork. "Um, Sakaki-  
san," Kaorin began, fast and nervous, "if Kagura really  
said no then I'm still avail--"

Kaorin's spiel was cut off by something Kagura had NOT seen  
before.

Sakaki turned her head...ever...so...slowly...to Kaorin.

Kaorin shut up.

Sakaki growled at Kaorin. Not a menacing growl, but a low,  
threatening growl, the kind a tomcat gives when defending  
its personal space. This was barely audible, in fact.

Kaorin took off running.

Sakaki snapped back to normal and turned to Kagura with a  
little grin she allowed herself.

"Damn Sakaki that was good!" Kagura admired. "Where'd you  
learn to do that?"

"Kamineko," Sakaki answered simply.

"Guess that biting cat's good for something," said Kagura.  
Then, after a pause: "But, Sakaki...Kaorin's practically  
terrified of you now. I get the feeling that's not exactly  
what you had in mind when you snapped at her last week."

"I'd really rather not deal with Kaorin right now," Sakaki  
said calmly. "Later...just...not right now. I'm still  
upset."

Sakaki sighed.

"I'll probably end up letting the incident go, eventually,"  
Sakaki admitted, "but that whole thing only happened last  
week. I'm...not quite ready yet."

"It's OK," said Kagura, "just don't hang onto it forever."  
She grinned reassuringly. Kagura mainly didn't want Sakaki  
to be upset for much longer.

Sakaki smiled. "I won't."

Kaorin ran and ran, now positively frightened of Sakaki.

Kaorin ran and ran, and as she turned a corner she ran  
smack into Kimura. Who, by the way, seemed perfectly  
comfortable walking around in his striped boxers and didn't  
seem to miss his pants at all.

"If Miss Sakaki won't go out with you," Kimura said, "you  
know I'M always available." How does that guy talk through  
a permanently open mouth?

Kimura cracked his neck anxiously.

"How did HE know about what just happened with Sakaki-san?"  
thought Kaorin.

"NO! NEVER!" screamed Kaorin, and she took off running in a  
different direction.

Meanwhile, Kagura wanted to take Sakaki's mind off the  
rather embarrassing situation.

"So, Sakaki," she asked, "I've always wanted to know...how  
come you like cats so much?"

(Final note: There you have it. The main pairing is Kagura/  
Osaka. I do like Sakaki/Kagura almost as much as I like  
Kagura/Osaka. Almost. So, how do you like the pairing?  
Osaka entertains Kagura, and Kagura stands up for Osaka  
when Tomo's being a pest. Let me know what you think!)


	6. Cats

(Author's Note: After having yanked Sakaki OOC in the last  
two chapters, I'm happy to announce that from this point  
she's back IC for good. I've said my peace on Kaorin, so  
let's get on with the story!) 

"So, Sakaki," Kagura asked, "I've always wanted to know...  
how come you like cats so much?"

Sakaki paused.

"Can we talk about this on the roof?" she asked.

"Sure, that's fine," Kagura casually replied, so they went  
up to the roof. The other girls weren't there--probably in  
the cafeteria.

Sakaki and Kagura sat down on a bench-like area and admired  
the view for a long time.

"Well," said Sakaki, breaking the peaceful silence, "I've  
always adored cats. Ever since I was a little girl."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Sakaki flushed pink at what she was about to tell  
her good friend.

"I've always been tall," she said. "Never cute."

"Uh huh," said Kagura mildly, wondering what this had to do  
with cats.

"Both my parents were tall," Sakaki continued. "My mother  
has long black hair--that's where I get it from--and my  
father has the same eyes, mouth, and face I do."

"Did the other kids tease you in school?" Kagura asked. She  
and Sakaki had gone to different elementary schools, so she  
really didn't know.

"In elementary school they used to call me Takaki," Sakaki  
said, glancing away. (Takaki is a pun on Sakaki. "Takai"  
means "tall".)

"And it really bothered me. You know how mean kids can be,"  
said Sakaki.

"They need to hurry and grow up," Kagura agreed. She  
thought about the teasing Chiyo-chan must've endured for  
being so smart. Kagura also remembered being teased in  
elementary school for being a tomboy. But she didn't  
mention these things, because it wasn't her turn to share  
memories.

"I was already 97cm tall when I was in the first grade,"  
Sakaki said. "They were making me feel bad about being  
tall. I felt like a nail sticking up." (Which will be  
hammered down, according to the Japanese proverb.)

"One day, when I was seven," Sakaki continued, now gazing  
at the sky with a slight smile, "I came home after they  
were picking on me especially hard that day. I...I told my  
mommy," she admitted, giggling at the childish phrase.

"I remember that day," Sakaki said. "Mom was standing in  
the studio, working on her latest painting. It was a  
watercolor. Two large cranes flying out to sea together.  
Her overalls and her hands were covered in paint."

Sakaki drifted away for a moment, recalling the beautiful  
painting. Then she came back to us and:

"That painting was called 'Tsuru Futari' (Two Cranes)",  
Sakaki said. "Mom eventually sold that one for 73,000 yen."

"Wow," said Kagura, impressed.

"Anyway," she said, "Mom knelt down and laid her hands,  
paint and all, on my shoulders. She looked me in the eyes  
and told me that if you write Takaki a certain way it means  
'High Spirit'."

"Makes sense," said Kagura.

"From then on, I felt a little better about my height,"  
Sakaki said. "But it's still true that I've always been  
tall, never cute."

"How does that relate to cats?" Kagura asked sincerely.

"I've always adored cute things," Sakaki admitted. "Since I  
could never be cute myself."

"I bet you've got a lot of plushies in your room," Kagura  
said.

"I have a small bookshelf that's full of plushies," Sakaki  
said. "And on my wall I hung a life-size painting of a  
giant panda. Mom painted that for me, for my 13th  
birthday."

(Note: The giant panda is about 1.5m long and about 75cm  
tall at the shoulder.)

"All that cuteness...so that's why you hang around Chiyo-  
chan so much."

"Exactly. Chiyo-chan's so cute...she's the little sister I  
never had," Sakaki said with a sigh.

"Do you have any siblings?"

"No, I'm an only child," Sakaki said. "You?"

"An older brother, but he's already moved out."

"Mm," Sakaki said. She paused, and then:

"The only time I ever really feel good about my height is  
during those athletics festivals," Sakaki said, "because  
suddenly I'm in my zone, my element."

"Chiyo-chan probably feels the same way about her height,"  
said Kagura, remembering Chiyo-chan's cuteness at the  
cheerleading contest last year.

Sakaki nodded. "And she's got this really cute dog...have  
you met him?"

"I think so," replied Kagura. "Taka--Tata--what was his  
name again?"

"Tadakichi-san," explained Sakaki. "He's so big that Chiyo-  
chan can actually RIDE him!"

"Wow! Cool!"

"The best part is that he actually lets me pet him...unlike  
that cat we walk by every morning," Sakaki said with a  
mixture of happiness and sadness.

"Kamineko? What's up with that stupid cat?" Kagura pounded  
her fist with her palm in mock anger. "Man, if I got my  
hands on him, I'd show HIM a thing or two! Teach him to  
mess with my friend!"

Sakaki smiled. Kagura would actually do that for Sakaki,  
and Sakaki knew it. (Canon note: Like she did to the other  
cats last month. Vol. 3, pgs. 145-147, esp. 147.)

"See? Even you agree! And you're a cat-lover!"

"Ha-ha, I guess so," Sakaki agreed.

Then Sakaki's smile slowly faded away. "Kagura," she said  
quietly, "can you keep a secret?"

Kagura was a bit surprised, but accepted. "Sure. What's  
up?"

Sakaki paused. "I know why Kamineko hates me."

"I got something against that cat too!" Kagura agreed.  
"ESPECIALLY after you slapped me in the face with that  
stupid cat!" Kagura laughed at the rather odd memory.

"Sorry about that," Sakaki laughed.

"Aah, it's fine," said Kagura. "Anyway, why does Kamineko  
hate you?"

"It happened three years ago," Sakaki began. "The summer  
of the ninth grade."

"Uh-huh."

"Back then, Kamineko was a kitten," Sakaki continued. "His  
owners are the Inoue family--you know Inoue, that quiet  
girl in our class?"

"Sorta." (Inoue made a very brief appearance near the  
beginning of the series. She was in the P.E. class during  
roll call and she's the one who asked Nyamo what kind of  
student Yukari was.)

"Anyway, I was walking by one morning on my way to school,"  
Sakaki continued, "and he just appeared on their wall. I'd  
never seen him before, but he was so cute! I just HAD to  
pet him!"

"Used to be cute? He's sure not cute now," thought Kagura.

"He didn't like strangers, or at least that's what Inoue  
told me when we met in the 10th grade," Sakaki continued.  
"But of course I didn't know that at the time and I just  
went up to him and tried to say hello."

"Sakaki's more shy around people than cats," thought  
Kagura.

"He ran away, and...I chased after him," Sakaki admitted,  
now growing upset.

Kagura put a casual, comforting arm around her friend's  
shoulder. "It's all right, Sakaki!" she encouraged.  
"Whatever it is--"

Sakaki turned to Kagura. "He ran out into the street, and  
turned to face me. His tail was all puffy, and I knew I'd  
done something wrong."

Sakaki's face fell. "He never saw the car coming."

"Oh no! That's terrible!"

"I took him to the vet right away, and they performed  
surgery on him," Sakaki explained, "but it never looked  
quite the same."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the car ran over his tail and broke it instantly.  
It's healed now, but there's a place on his tail where the  
bone didn't set quite right, so his tail is permanently  
bent. Just a little. You can barely see it, but if you feel  
along his tail, there's a bump that shouldn't be there."

"Aw, man..."

"And the last thing he saw before he got hit was me chasing  
him, so he blames me for it."

"So he's hated you all these years."

"Yeah," admitted Sakaki. "Every morning I try to pet him,  
try to say I'm sorry, but..."

"It's OK, Sakaki," said Kagura. "I'm not sure what to say  
right now, but it's OK."


	7. Okinawa, Here We Come pt 1 of 4

Okinawa, Here We Come - Day 1 - Shiisaa 

**Thank you for over 2000 hits!**

* * *

**_Omake_** "The Writing Process"

Today I thought I'd share a bit of what actually happens  
when I write one of these AzuDai fics. (Or any other story  
for that matter--I write both fan and original fiction.)

I start with a concept and just let the ideas flow. Most of  
the random humor in my stories is totally unplanned. (And  
speaking of writing styles, I write a mix of comedy/drama,  
as you've seen, though I much prefer comedy.)

The Bonklers are my favorite AzuDai characters, as well as  
my favorites to write for. When I sit down to write a  
chapter I think:

"OK, what totally random thought will Osaka come up with  
this time?"

Or:

"OK, what outrageous stunt can I have Tomo pull this time?"

And then Kagura's in the middle trying to stabilize her two  
fellow Bonklers. It's crazy, I tell you!

Once again, I'd like to thank you all for reading and  
reviewing! I do appreciate reviews, though I won't force  
you to do it.

* * *

Osaka sleepily woke up and yawned. She'd just been dreaming  
about what would happen if there were a candyfloss stand at  
the top of Mt. Fuji. 

"Mmm..." she said as she put away the bed. "I feel like  
there was something I'm supposed to remember today...Gotta  
remember! On the ball! On the ball!"

Osaka wandered over to the bathroom and then she saw it in  
the mirror. Written on her forehead was a single word:  
OKINAWA.

(Osaka recognized a word even though it's reversed in the  
mirror? Well, given her knowledge of kanji, it could  
happen!)

"Oh yeah!" she remembered suddenly. "Today's the Okinawa  
trip! Gotta get ready!" She ran back to her room.

The night before, Osaka had asked her little sister to  
write OKINAWA on Osaka's face in pen so she wouldn't forget  
about the trip. On the ball! Yay!

Osaka headed to her closet. "What am I gonna wear?" After  
rummaging through her clothes she decided on a nice  
sundress and a white hat.

"Ah, this looks nice," she thought as she packed her  
suitcase. "Wonder what Kagura's gonna wear?"

AFTER Osaka had packed her suitcase (remembering not to  
pack her bag and wallet--on the ball) she went back to the  
bathroom and showered, now that it was safe to wash OKINAWA  
off her forehead.

Osaka went downstairs and fixed up a quick breakfast: two  
eggs, a bowl of cereal, and a nice steaming cup of coffee.  
Usually Osaka ate more for breakfast (a bigger bowl of  
cereal, another cup of coffee, and scrambling the eggs  
instead of just cooking them) but she was excited about the  
trip.

She flipped on the TV and decided to check the weather  
report.

"Patchy clouds over Tokyo today," announced the newscaster,  
"and as for other areas...light rain in Hokkaido and  
Aomori with temperatures in the mid-20s...Sendai, a bit  
warmer, mostly clear skies, 28 degrees..."

(The newscaster's weather-tour down Japan interested Osaka,  
but it probably doesn't interest you, so I'll skip it.)

"...and finally, down in Okinawa...wow! Let's go to our  
live cam! Clear blue skies, clear blue waters...and 33  
degrees! If you ask me, it's a perfect day to visit the  
beach, especially Okinawa's famous Manzamo Beach!"

"Yay!" Osaka shouted happily and burst into song. "Oki...  
Oki...nawa...nawa...Ooo-kinawa! Oki...Oki...nawa...nawa...  
Ooo-kinawa! Oki...Oki..."

Osaka turned off the TV and went back to her room, still  
singing happily. She grabbed her suitcase and headed out  
the door.

Osaka said the customary "Itte kimasu" to her parents, and  
after hearing the customary "Ohayou okaeri" (which her  
friends told her was old-fashioned) she walked to school as  
usual.

On the way to school Osaka noticed that one of the clouds  
looked like Osaka Tower and wondered if it was a greeting  
from her friends in Osaka. Then Osaka wondered what they  
were going to do in Okinawa anyway and made a mental note  
to ask Chiyo-chan when she got to school.

"Ano..." said Chiyo-chan when Osaka asked her, "I could  
tell you, but why don't you look at Yomi's guidebook? It's  
more fun to look at the pictures!"

"OK!" said Osaka, and she did so.

At the airport, the girls decided to eat breakfast at a  
McDonald's. Osaka was first in line.

"I'd like a hash brown, please," she requested. "And please  
put it in one of those little paper bags."

"OK..." the cashier replied, a little confused by Part II  
of Osaka's order (since at McDonald's they put hash browns  
in those little bags anyway).

But Osaka did get her tasty treat, and for only 100 yen.

"Why'd you ask for the little bag?" Tomo asked her once  
they'd all sat down to eat.

"I'm gonna pretend it's sata andagi," Osaka replied. She'd  
read about sata andagi that morning in Yomi's guidebook.

"Ever had sata andagi before?" Tomo asked.

"Chaunen." (Nope.)

"What's it taste like?"

"I dunno...But it looks like this!" Osaka showed Tomo the  
hash brown, still in its little bag.

Tomo sweatdropped.

"Osaka, you're somethin' else, you know that?" said Kagura,  
grinning.

"Yes, I know that," Osaka replied innocently.

"Really? How d'you know that?"

"Because you just told me."

Kagura sweatdropped.

And then, everyone said "Itadakimasu!" and began to eat,  
while chatting about the latest news, what they were going  
to do in Okinawa, etc.

After landing in Okinawa, the girls decided to check out  
Shuri Castle.

"Haisai!" Chiyo-chan happily greeted Okinawa.

"Ahh...that's 'ohayou-san', right?" asked Osaka.

"That's 'konnichiwa', you baka!" Tomo replied. Turning to  
Kagura: "And don't you start with me, you busty brat!"

"We're ALL bakas!" Kagura replied, deciding to absorb the  
quip rather than deflect it.

Osaka smacked Tomo upside the head and walked away.

"What'd you do that for?" asked Kagura, catching up to her.  
"That was totally unexpected. Even though it DID put Tomo  
in her place!"

"Because," replied Osaka, "being called a 'baka' is a big  
deal in Osaka." She was uncharacteristically serious all of  
a sudden.

"Really? In Tokyo we say it all the time."

"But in Osaka it's really a big insult," explained Osaka.

"Don't you have a word like--"

"Yeah, we say 'aho'."

"I knew that."

"But it doesn't hurt like being called a baka," Osaka  
finished.

"Oh...I didn't know..."

"It's OK, Kagura."

"I'm sorry for all the times I called you a baka," Kagura  
said sincerely.

"It's OK," Osaka replied, hugging Kagura. Her usual smile  
was back. "Ichi-go ichi-e," she said happily.

"That's right," agreed Kagura, grinning.

"Naa," said Osaka, "let's team up with Chiyo-chan and  
explore Shuri Castle."

"Sounds good to me," replied Kagura, even though she wanted  
to have a little alone time with Osaka. Maybe later. "Let's  
go find her before Tomo traumatizes her."

"OK," said Osaka, giving Kagura a peck on the cheek before  
they went to look for Chiyo-chan.

They caught up with Chiyo-chan and the three of them went  
to Shuri Castle, which according to Chiyo-chan is "sui  
ugusiku" in Okinawan.

"Wow, you've been studyin' Okinawan, haven't you, Chiyo-  
chan?" Osaka wondered.

"Uree, bicchun," Chiyo-chan replied. (Okinawan: "yeah, a  
little.")

"Itta koto ga wakaranai demo OKE," Kagura stated bluntly.  
(Japanese: Dunno what you said but OK.)

At the castle, Osaka became fascinated by the shiisaa  
(stone lions).

"Hey, a shiisaa!" said Osaka. (Kagura wasn't around--she'd  
decided to explore the front hall and wait for Osaka and  
Chiyo-chan in there.)

Osaka turned to Chiyo-chan. "Chiyo-chan, how do you say 'is  
that a shiisaa' in Okinawan?"

"Aree, shiisaa yaibiimi?" Chiyo-chan replied. "I think..."  
she sweatdropped.

Osaka pointed to a shiisaa. "Aree, shiisaa yaibiimi?" she  
asked, trying it out.

Chiyo-chan smiled. "Uree, shiisaa yaibiin!" (Yeah, that's a  
shiisaa!)

Easily entertained, Osaka ran to another shiisaa. "Shiisaa  
yaibiimi?"

Easily entertained, Chiyo-chan joined in. "Shiisaa  
yaibiin!"

After a couple more rounds of this, they went inside to  
meet up with Kagura.

But they weren't expecting to see--

"Whoa! A whole LINE of shiisaa!" Osaka shouted excitedly.  
The sound echoed over the entire front hall and attracted  
Kagura's attention.

"Guess they're back," she thought with a grin. "Might as  
well see what they've been up to. This oughta be good..."

Osaka pointed to a shiisaa. "Shiisaa yaibiin!" (It's a  
shiisaa!)

Osaka pointed to another shiisaa. "Shiisaa yaibiin!"

Osaka pointed to another shiisaa. "Shiisaa yaibiin!"

Osaka pointed to Kagura. "Shiisaa yaibiin!" she said, this  
time with a goofy grin.

"Huh?" thought Kagura. "Must be Okinawan. I'll ask Osaka  
about it later..."

Chiyo-chan humored Osaka. Or rather, she tried to. "Aree,  
shiisaa aibiran!" (That's not a shiisaa!)

"Chiyo-chan's so cute when she's flustered," both Osaka and  
Kagura thought.

"Naa, Chiyo-chan," said Osaka, "how d'ya say 'kirei'  
(pretty) in Okinawan?"

"That's 'chirii', I think," replied Chiyo-chan.

"A new word...and a little flirting," thought Osaka. She  
turned to Kagura.

"Kaaguraa," she said, trying to say Kagura's name in an  
Okinawan accent, "chirii yaibiin!" (Kagura's pretty!)

"Somethin' bout me," Kagura said. "Osaka, did you just say  
my name in an Okinawan accent?"

"Tried to."

"Uree, Kaaguraa chirii yaibiin yoo!" (Yeah, Kagura is  
pretty!) Chiyo-chan agreed. Unlike Osaka, Chiyo-chan was  
simply acknowledging Kagura's good looks, with none of the  
meaning behind Osaka's simple statement.

"She doesn't understand what I REALLY meant by that," Osaka  
thought. "Ah, well, she's only 12, she wouldn't get it  
anyway. Let her hang on to her Chiyo-chan-ness."

Kagura laughed. "Uh...what ARE you two saying about me?"

Osaka went over to Kagura and told her. In her ear, she  
whispered.

"Ahh...Kagura, why are you blushing?" asked Chiyo-chan  
innocently.

"Ahh...don't worry about it, Chiyo-chan," replied Kagura.  
And that was all they had to say about the subject.

For dinner they all went to the buffet at the hotel.

"Hey, Yomi!" Kagura called out. "You and me! Eating contest  
right now!"

Yomi turned around and pounded her fist with her palm. A  
surprisingly determined look appeared on her face.

"As of now, the diet is OFF!" Yomi announced. "I WILL NOT  
be outeaten!"

"About time she got off that stupid diet," thought Tomo.  
"What is it this month? A watermelon-free existence?" Tomo  
shuddered. "No watermelons? I couldn't live like that!"

Osaka and Chiyo-chan immediately headed for the champuru  
table.

"Hey, look! Champuru!"

"We're in Okinawa, so we've GOTTA eat this, right?"

Osaka became fascinated by the different kinds of champuru  
on the table.

"Goya (bitter melon) champuru!"

"Fu champuru!"

"Somin champuru!"

Finally, Osaka settled on somin champuru, having decided  
that goya was probably too spicy for her.

At the table, everybody happily discussed the day's events  
until Tomo made some stupid crack about Kagura's eating  
habits and--

"Tomo," Kagura said through a mouthful of chinsuko, "I  
oughta reach across this table and--and--aaackkk!"

A piece of chinsuko slid back in Kagura's throat!

"Kagura!" Tomo shouted, jumping up. "What happened?"

"She's choking, aho!" yelled Osaka, jumping up too.

"Wait, Osaka!" shouted Tomo. "My dad says I'm really good  
at pounding people's backs, and I'm gonna prove it!"

"Tomo, sit down!" Yomi joined the fray. But the energetic  
girl was already out of her seat and around the table.

Kagura was already pounding her fists into her own stomach  
while gasping for air. Tomo pulled back her arm and let  
loose a karate chop.

"AI-YAH!" Tomo yelled.

Kagura's answer to that was a strangled, hoarse scream that  
reminded Sakaki of a cat choking on a hairball.

"She's turning pink," said Sakaki, now deeply concerned.

"Shimatta, dame da zo," muttered Tomo. (Translation:  
Dammit, this isn't working!) She proceeded to punch  
Kagura's back, now with her fists. Kagura continued to  
punch herself in the stomach.

"Tomo, be careful," cautioned Sakaki. "You're hitting a lot  
of sensitive bones there." But she had to admit it was much  
better than doing nothing.

Suddenly Kagura threw back her head and her face began to  
fade to its usual tan.

Kagura's breath came in big heaves.

"YOW! Tomo get off my back!" was the first thing Kagura  
yelled after catching her breath.

"Yay! She's OK!" was the first thing Tomo yelled.

"What just happened?" Yomi asked.

"I felt it come loose, so I swallowed it," Kagura answered.  
"Couldn't waste such a tasty piece of food."

"Are you sure it was still tasty..."

Kagura got up and turned around.

"Thanks, Tomo," she said sincerely. "I guess you ARE useful  
after all."


	8. Okinawa, Here We Come pt 2 of 4

Okinawa, Here We Come - Day 2 - Manzamo

* * *

**Sakka Kara MESSEEJI (A Word From The Author)**

_I'm kind of getting confused about the pairings as you proceed._ - HimeISM

In case anybody else is getting confused about the pairings (I'm not immune--it happened to me while reading "Nyamo the Player") the major pairings are:

Kagura/Osaka (main pairing)

Tomo/Yomi (later)

Sakaki/Chiyo-chan (shimai/sisters, as mentioned in my profile)

Hope that helps:)

* * *

The Azumanga Daioh girls were standing at Manzamo Beach--or  
rather, at the cliff that overlooks said beach. 

Chiyo-chan leaned on the guard rail, both scared and  
fascinated by the ocean far below--50 metres below, in  
fact, according to Yomi's ever-useful guidebook.

Gazing at Nago Bay far below, Chiyo-chan didn't notice Tomo  
sneaking up behind her.

"Tomo?" Chiyo-chan looked down. "Why are you grabbing my--"

Tomo grabbed Chiyo-chan's short legs and picked her up.  
"Look, Chiyo-chan! Look over the side! You're so tall!  
You're SOOOO tall!"

"Tomo! Put Chiyo-chan down!"

"Yes, Yukari-chan..."

"If she falls into the ocean...well..."

"Yeah...that WOULD be bad."

"Especially for me, 'cause I'M your teacher, and I'D get  
blamed for it!"

Tomo sweatdropped.

After that "Nagowan Jiken" (Nago Bay Incident), the girls  
descended from Manzamo Cliff, with Chiyo-chan sticking by  
Sakaki's side the entire way down.

They arrived at the beaches of Nago Bay without further  
incident, save Tomo's discovery of an Okinawa tree lizard.

Tomo excitedly showed the others her latest cool find.

Yukari: "WHOA! COOL!"

Yomi: "Tomo put that down! You don't know where that's  
been!"

Kagura: "Tomo put that down! It might be poisonous!"

Osaka: "Aahhh! That thing's evil! It's worse than Chiyo-  
chan's pigtails!"

Chiyo-chan: "Osaka, are you still on that? I'm getting  
worried...Sakaki, help me..."

Sakaki: "That lizard's not cute. Get behind me, Chiyo-  
chan."

Tomo: "Spoilsports." And she released the lizard, which  
took off running, with one backward glance at Tomo as it  
left.

Ahem. Back to the beaches. Yukari stood before the group  
and announced that the day's activity would be sensui  
(diving).

After they all changed into their wetsuits, Sakaki said, "I  
wonder what kind of fish we'll see?"

"Well, what would you LIKE to see?" asked Chiyo-chan.

For that, Tomo, Yukari, and Kagura already had a range of  
fish they wanted to see--on their plates!

"Ebi!" (Shrimp!)

"Tai!" (Red snapper!)

"Hirame!" (Flatfish!)

"Saba!" (Mackerel!)

"Sanma!" (Pike!)

But Osaka's answer surprised them all.

"Ikura!" (Salmon roe!)

"Why do you want salmon?" asked Kagura. "We just HAD salmon  
last week. Remember? You came over and I made dinner for  
us? You DO remember, right?"

"Of course I remember," Osaka answered contentedly. "Ahh,  
that salmon was tasty..."

"Osaka went to Kagura's house?" thought Chiyo-chan. "Guess  
they were studying together or something..."

"...and that's why I want salmon," Osaka finished her  
latest tangent.

"Huh?" thought Chiyo-chan, who once again had missed the  
middle part of Osaka's ramblings.

"I see," said Kagura. "Anyway, this is Okinawa! Try  
something more exotic!"

"Look over there," said Osaka, and pointed to...a salmon  
swimming in the water.

"That's just a salmon, not salmon roe."

"I'm hungry too!" announced Osaka, pulling the wetsuit's  
hood over her head. "Excuse me while I grab some lunch,"  
she said before strapping on the breathing apparatus and  
stepping into the water.

In response, Kagura pushed Osaka into the water, yelling,  
"Tag! You're it!"

Osaka splashed gracefully into the bay, swimming round and  
round to show her approval before making a long, loping  
turn into deeper water to chase that salmon.

Kagura, the more athletic one, quickly put on her own hood  
and breathing apparatus before diving into the water after  
Osaka.

The two of them quickly swam out to deeper water where the  
salmon (now more than one) were swimming.

"Osaka and Kagura sure have been spending a lot of time  
together lately," thought Chiyo-chan. "They must be having  
a lot of fun in Okinawa."

And with that, Chiyo-chan (the only one in the group who'd  
ever been diving before) strapped on her headgear and  
submerged herself in the water. The rest followed suit.

Chiyo-chan noticed that the cobalt waters seemed to loosen  
up Osaka's joints--she showed more flexibility in the water  
as she and Kagura played a lively game of underwater tag.

Tomo swam around with a hot dog, attracting the attention  
of several clownfish, which began to circle around her hand  
and nibble at the hot dog.

"Whoa! You brutes!" Tomo quickly swam away. "Gotta save  
some for Chiyo-chan..."

Tomo swam over to Chiyo-chan and quickly mashed the hot dog  
in her hands...

Back on shore, Chiyo-chan glared at Tomo, mouth tightly  
closed.

"Whoa, Chiyo-chan, what's wrong?" asked Yomi.

Chiyo-chan opened her mouth and spit a mixture of seawater  
and hot dog onto Tomo's wetsuit.

"A-ha-ha-ha..." Tomo laughed nervously.

"I'm not EVEN gonna ask," said Yomi, walking back to the  
wetsuit rental shop.


	9. Okinawa, Here We Come pt 3 of 4

Okinawa, Here We Come - Day 3 - Sata Andagi

Author's note: The visit to Fukushu-en isn't canon. I made  
up an activity to precede the "sata andagi" day. Anyway,  
enjoy!

Yomi couldn't believe her ears. They were going to a what?

"Fukushu-en," Yukari repeated dismissively. "Apparently  
it's some kind of Chinese-ish garden here in Naha," she  
droned, reading from an index card, "built in 1992, 10th  
anniversary of sister-city relationship with Fuzhou in  
China's Fujian province, pera pera pera..."

Yukari carelessly tossed the card behind her.

"ANYway," said Yukari, now back to her normal self, "I'd  
like you all to know another little bit of trivia about  
Fukushu-en."

"What's that?" asked Yomi.

"That it was NYAMO'S idea to come here," said Yukari  
sarcastically. "Honestly, who cares about a bunch of  
flowers?"

"I do," murmured Sakaki. Sadly nobody heard her.

"Hey, Osaka," Yomi overheard Kagura whisper behind Yomi.

"Hi, Kagura, how are you?" Osaka whispered.

Kagura decided to skip over that. "Let's hang out with  
Sakaki today. She knows a LOT about flowers," Kagura  
whispered, having learned this from prior experience  
about a year ago.

"'Kay," whispered Osaka.

"I guess I'll hang out with Sakaki too," thought Yomi.  
"Flowers, huh? Never knew she was the type...oh wait, if I  
go with Sakaki, Kagura, and Osaka, that'll leave Tomo alone  
with Chiyo-chan. WHY am I always babysitting Tomo?"

"Nyamo isn't even taking her class to Fukushu-en and she's  
still making me take you to this place," Yukari complained.  
"Oh well, let's split into two groups." She noticed that  
Sakaki was already the center of her four-person group.  
"All right, you four will be one group," she said,  
gesturing towards them. "Tomo, Chihuahua, you're with me."

"All RIGHT!" shouted Tomo, picking up Chiyo-chan and  
hauling her on her shoulder like a sack of "taters". (Well,  
that's what Osaka called 'em when she was wondering about  
'em that morning. Don't ask.)

The seven oddballs began walking towards the garden.

Yomi watched Chiyo kicking and struggling on Tomo's  
shoulder. It was cute, in an odd way.

"Toomoooo!" yelled Chiyo-chan.

"You're so cute when you yell like that," Tomo observed.

"Put me doowwn! I'm twelve, Tomo-chan, not six!" Chiyo-chan  
accidentally kicked Tomo in the chest. "Tomo-chaaaan!"

"HEY!" Tomo yelled. "Watch where you're kicking, ya little  
brat, THOSE happen to be my precious--hey, wait a sec!"  
Tomo shifted Chiyo-chan to her other shoulder and kept on  
walking. "Did you just call me Tomo-chan?"

Chiyo-chan turned red. "I-it slipped out! I-I-I thought if  
I got your attention you'd put me down!" Chiyo-chan turned  
to Tomo. "Tomo put me down!"

"Aww, what happened to Tomo-chan?" Tomo teased.

Much to Chiyo-chan's relief, Yukari finally turned around  
and noticed the commotion.

"Tomo, put Chiyo-chan down." Tomo did. "Save your strength.  
You'll need it when we throw Chiyo-chan into the ocean,"  
she added, grinning evilly.

Yukari is insane, but even she has limits. When she said it  
she meant throwing her from the seashore, and going in  
after her if necessary. (So would Tomo.) But Chiyo-chan,  
warped from yesterday's "Nago Bay Incident" with Tomo,  
thought Yukari was going to throw her from Manzamo Cliff  
(remember, it's a 50-metre drop). Thus Chiyo-chan freaked  
out and hightailed it into the garden.

"Chiyo-chan's gotten faster since she started high school,"  
observed Yomi, watching Chiyo-chan disappear among the  
plants.

"I still don't know nothin' 'bout flowers," admitted Kagura  
with a sheepish grin.

"It's all right," said Sakaki. "Most people don't. What a  
shame."

"Well, you know which flowers I know about," said Kagura.  
"Just sunflowers and morning glories. Don't see any around  
here though."

"This is a Chinese garden, so they probably wouldn't have  
any," said Yomi. "Anyway, that's better than what I can do.  
All I know is the sakura."

Kagura's jaw dropped. "Wow? I'm actually BETTER than Yomi  
at something? Awesome!"

"Yeah, yeah," Yomi shrugged.

"Wow, what a pretty pink rose!" said Osaka excitedly,  
pointing to an indeed pretty flower.

Sakaki turned to the flower and smelled it. Such a lovely  
aroma...

"It's actually a tree peony, Osaka," she finally said.  
"Sorry."

"Awww..."

"It's all right," Sakaki reassured her. "Don't feel bad  
about it. They DO look similar, and even I mix them up from  
time to time."

"'Even I'?" Yomi asked. "Are you good with flowers or  
something?"

"Damn straight," Kagura spoke up, knowing full well Sakaki  
was too modest to say it on her own. "One time we walked to  
school together, and she was like, bam! That's a lily! Or  
something like that...and then we kept walking, and she was  
like, bam! That's an azalea!" Kagura shrugged. "Not sure if  
that's what she actually said, but you know what I mean."

Sakaki, of course, remembered the incident quite clearly,  
including the flowers involved. But she didn't want to ruin  
the moment.

"Sakaki, why don't you educate us about flowers?" Yomi said  
brightly.

"Yeah...like if the peony's the king of the flowers, does  
that mean there's a queen of the flowers?" asked Osaka.

Yomi's face went blank. She got a lot of mileage out of  
that expression when Osaka was around. "Huh?"

Explanation...  
peony ... kaou ... ka-ou ... flower-king  
flower-queen ... ka-oujo ... kaoujo (not a word)

"Maybe," Sakaki answered, humoring Osaka even though Sakaki  
knew there was no such flower. "I don't know which flower  
that would be, though."

"How 'bout a pink rose?" Osaka suggested. "But then, when  
the king and queen have kids, people will be like, hey,  
which side of the family d'ya get your looks from?"

Sakaki grinned. "You have a very active imagination,  
Osaka," she said. "It's no wonder Kagura likes you so  
much."

"Does that mean what I think it means?" thought Yomi, who  
still didn't know that Kagura and Osaka were going out. So  
far the only ones who knew were Kagura and Osaka (of  
course) and Sakaki. And Kaorin had probably overheard that  
part when Kagura declined Sakaki.

"Anyway," said Yomi, "where do we start?"

"Well," said Sakaki carefully, "there's a lot to know about  
flowers. It's not something I could just tell you in a few  
minutes."

"Like what?"

"Like...well...for starters..." And Sakaki began to share  
what she knew.

Four hours later, the girls left Fukushu-en with their  
heads filled with more than they thought possible.

"Wow," was all Osaka could say.

"Awesome!" agreed Kagura.

"You're a pretty good teacher, Sakaki, once you relax,"  
Yomi said with a smile. "Just be yourself."

Sakaki said nothing but blushed from the compliment.

After the trip to Fukushu-en, the class headed back to  
Naha City, where they met up with Nyamo's and Kimura's  
classes at the Makishi Public Market (Machigwaa in  
Okinawan).

Suddenly a cry came from the far end of the market.

"Aahhhh!" Osaka yelled. "Look! Over here!"

The sign Osaka was pointing to clearly read SATA ANDAGI.

"I'm finally gonna try sata andagi!" Osaka yelled  
excitedly, running towards the sata andagi shop.

"I wanna try it too!" Chiyo-chan called back, running to  
join her friend.

"Buy me some!" Kagura expertly tossed a 100-yen coin to  
Osaka (who caught it) before jogging towards the sata  
andagi shop to join them.

After buying their sweet treats, the classes wandered out  
to Kokusai Street.

"Mmm...this is WAY better than a hash brown," Osaka said  
in her usual dreamy voice.

"So sweet..." she enthused (in English).

(Author's note: If you're following along with the manga,  
vol 4 pgs 35-36 start here.)

"They sure are good when they're all fresh and warm, huh?"  
said Chiyo-chan.

"They sure are," agreed Yomi, who had once again cast off  
the shackles of her latest diet. (I think this one involved  
carbs--hence no pastries--but I can't be sure.) So  
sweet...

Tomo wandered up to them.

Tomo: "Hey what IS that? Some kinda donut?"

Chiyo-chan: "They're 'sata andagi'."

Osaka: "Sata andagi!"

Tomo: "How much were they?"

Chiyo-chan: "100 yen."

Osaka: "Sata andagi!"

Tomo: "Where did you buy--"

Osaka: "Sata andagi!"

Tomo: "Will you shut up!"

Osaka: "Sata andagi!"

The classes wandered up and down the street excitedly  
discussing the day's events. Kaorin seemed particularly  
eager to fill in Sakaki-san about the details of her day.

Kaorin ran up to Sakaki-san from behind.

"Sakaki-san!" she called out. Sakaki turned around. Did she  
hear her name?

(Author's note: Notice Sakaki-san's startled expression on  
page 36, in the first panel of "The Island of Dreams". Now  
please return to the story.)

She was startled to see Kaorin running up to her. Kaorin,  
of all people. The one who could barely muster up the  
courage, ever, to approach Sakaki-san, was now calling her  
name and running up to her.

Sakaki had to admit, Kaorin had a lot of guts running up to  
her like that. Kaorin must've eaten an extra-large bowl of  
Wheaties that morning, Sakaki reasoned. Still, Sakaki made  
up her mind to hear Kaorin out.

"Yes?" Sakaki asked with her usual Aura of Cool. Kaorin was  
freaking out inside, beyond her usual shyness. Would Sakaki  
snap again? After that embarrassing "incident" in May (this  
is July, by the way) Sakaki had returned to her usual self.

"I...ah...about that...in May..." Kaorin turned redder and  
redder and touched her index fingertips together.

Sakaki turned pink. "It's fine." Pausing for a moment, she  
added, "Thank you...for considering my feelings...and  
backing off."

As we know, the real reason Kaorin backed off was because  
she was scared shitless for days after the incident. But  
she chose to focus on the fact that Sakaki didn't seem to  
be pissed at her anymore.

Kaorin knew she had completely blown her chance with Sakaki  
forever. But just before the Okinawa trip Kaorin had  
decided to try to at least part ways on a neutral, if not  
cordial, note. That was her new goal for the 12th grade.

We know, of course, that she achieved her goal.

Knowing she had been forgiven, Kaorin stood there for a  
moment, her mind shifting to bliss-mode.

"Sakaki! Oi, Sakaki!" Yomi was calling from down the  
street.

Sakaki turned to Yomi and nodded, then turned back to  
Kaorin.

Sakaki figured Kaorin had come to say something else now  
that she could actually talk to Sakaki (since Kaorin seemed  
to know a good thing when she saw it). So Sakaki waited for  
a moment before Kaorin drifted out of bliss-mode and back  
to reality.

Kaorin looked up at Sakaki-san expectantly. "Ee too..." she  
muttered, touching her index fingertips together again.

"Yes?"

Idea! Kaorin thought of something to say to Sakaki-san  
before she rejoined Yomi.

"Ee too...ah...so, where are you all going on tomorrow's  
'Island Getaway'?" Kaorin asked, hoping the two classes  
would be travelling to the same island. Leave it to Kaorin  
to never give up hope.

"We're going to Miyako Island," Kaorin added shyly.

"Ah...that's nice," Sakaki said quietly. "We're going to  
Iriomote Island."

"Ah...what are you gonna do there?" Kaorin asked.

Sakaki continued to make polite conversation with Kaorin,  
since Sakaki isn't really the type to hold grudges against  
people. It was now two months since the "Sakaki-saaan  
Incident" and Sakaki had pretty much gotten over it by now.  
Her reticence around Kaorin had by this point shifted back  
to her usual reticence, though Sakaki really hoped nothing  
like that would ever happen again. Sakaki just wanted to  
make it through the 12th grade without losing her cool  
again.

We know, of course, that she achieved her goal.

(Author's note: How well did I resolve the "Sakaki-saaan  
Incident"? Make your voice heard in a review! I read every  
review, and your constructive criticism helps!)

Yomi overheard Sakaki reveal her ambition to see the  
Iriomote Mountain Cat. Before Kaorin could ask what that  
was, Kimura walked up.

"Um..." Yomi and Sakaki said together.

Kaorin was wearing a shirt that said UMIN-CHU (Okinawan for  
"fisherman")...and so was Kimura.

"Aahhh! I'm gonna go change!" Kaorin ran off, and Kimura  
ran after her.

"That Kimura is such a pervert," thought Yomi, stating the  
obvious.

(Author's note: Manga ends here. Completely original  
material follows once again.)

That night, at the hotel, Yukari threw open the door  
between their hotel rooms.

Yukari and Nyamo had one room, and our six heroines were  
sharing a second. The two rooms were adjoining. The rest of  
Yukari's class, as well as Nyamo's class, and Kimura's  
class, occupied several other rooms. Kimura himself had a  
single room, much to his dismay.

Anyway...

"LIGHTS OUT!" Yukari yelled. "Nyamo and I--I mean, the  
TEACHERS--are tryin' to get some sleep here!"

"Geez, like I'm gonna get any sleep with that idiot P.E.  
teacher around," Yukari muttered. "Oh well."

"Ganbatte, Yukari-chan!" Tomo yelled with a wink as Yukari  
slammed the door.

"Nyamo's an athlete in bed too," Yukari grumbled after  
slamming the door and locking it. "How the HELL am I gonna  
get any sleep tonight?" (Don't worry, it's a Western-style  
hotel, so the walls are nice and thick. Our lasses won't  
hear a thing.)

That night's bed pairings (chosen by lot) were:

Tomo/Sakaki  
Kagura/Chiyo-chan  
Yomi/Osaka

The six of them lay there in the dark.

"Don't worry, Chiyo-chan, I'll protect you from that IDIOT  
Tomo," Kagura said.

"I heard that! I'll have you know I did better than you on  
our last test!" Tomo retorted.

"You just HAD to start her up," said Yomi.

"Crap. Sorry everybody," said Kagura, remembering last  
summer when Tomo terrorised everybody when they were trying  
to sleep.

"Hey, guess what?" Tomo announced.

Nobody dared to answer. Not even Osaka.

"I gotta go to the bathroom!"

Nobody wanted to answer.

"Be right back!" Tomo bounced up onto the bed.

"Tomo, please," Sakaki said, "let us go to sleep."

Suddenly there was a loud CRASH!

"I ran off the bed in the wrong direction," Tomo admitted.

"Bathroom's the other way, Tomo," said Osaka.

"Good one," muttered Yomi.

Tomo climbed back onto the bed and started running across  
the beds to get to the bathroom.

Sakaki: "Oof!"

Chiyo-chan didn't say anything. Tomo managed to miss her.

Kagura: "Ow, you numbnut!"

Yomi: "Tomo, that was my LEG!"

Osaka: "Huh?"

Tomo bounded off Yomi and Osaka's bed and landed like a  
gymnast on the floor. A perfect 10.0, I must say.

"That was your leg?" Tomo shot back on her way to the  
bathroom. "I thought that was the bed, 'cause it was soft  
and squishy! FAATTT!"

"I am SO strangling you in the morning," Yomi threatened.  
"Osaka, you have nothing to do, go knock some sense into  
her.

"Mm...hai, hai..." (Mm...yeah, yeah...)

Osaka rolled over onto Yomi.

"Other way, Osaka."

Osaka rolled the other way and flopped off the bed. In the  
dark, Yomi couldn't see that Osaka had no intention of  
going after Tomo.

"Kagura," Osaka whispered in Kagura's ear, having appeared  
by Kagura's side of the bed.

Startled, Kagura drew in a sharp breath.

"Kagura? Are you OK?" asked Chiyo-chan.

"Yeah, I'm fine...I just thought I saw Tomo sneaking up on  
you," Kagura lied.

"Sh-she's not gonna scare me, is she?" Chiyo-chan asked,  
now afraid.

Osaka kept quiet. Normally she would've comforted Chiyo-  
chan, but right now she had a little "business" of her own.

"Tomo's still in the bathroom," stated Yomi levelly.

From the bathroom they heard Tomo's voice yelling "Kyaaaaa!  
SPIDER!" and then several loud smacking sounds before the  
room became deathly quiet.

"I sent Osaka after her but I have no idea where she went,"  
Yomi finished.

"Ahh, she'll be fine," said Kagura.

"OK," said Chiyo-chan, not quite convinced that Tomo wasn't  
going to scare her. "I'm gonna try to get some sleep."

"Good luck, Chiyo-chan," said Sakaki sincerely as she  
stretched out on the bed and tried to get some sleep too.

Kagura turned her head to the side...and found herself  
three centimetres from Osaka's wide brown eyes. Osaka was  
kneeling by the side of the bed.

"What are you doing?" Kagura whispered.

"I got somethin' for ya," Osaka whispered. Kagura could  
just hear the lazy purr in Osaka's whisper.

"What's that?" Kagura whispered.

"This," Osaka whispered, kissing Kagura on the lips. She  
resisted the urge to pull Kagura in because she didn't want  
to rock the bed and wake Chiyo-chan.

The kiss was still, however, very satisfying.

"Happy one-month anniversary, Kagura," whispered Osaka. "I  
love you."

Kagura blushed even deeper than her swimmer's tan.

"Happy one-month anniversary, Osaka," whispered Kagura. She  
leaned in for a quick kiss. "I love you too," she whispered  
as Osaka patted Kagura's hand and sneaked back to her own  
bed, blushing all the way.

Chiyo-chan slept contentedly, completely unaware of what  
just happened.

"Mmm...morning glories...wonder if they sell 'em back  
home..." Kagura sleepily murmured almost inaudibly before  
setting her own course for the Land of Dreams.


	10. Okinawa, Here We Come pt 4 of 4

Okinawa, Here We Come - Day 4 - Iriomote

Tomo sprung up in her bed, throwing the sheet off both her  
and Sakaki.

"Ohayou!" ('Morning!) Tomo called out.

"Oha-san..." ('Morning...) Osaka sleepily greeted her  
friends.

"Damatte, Osaka, sorya hyoujun ja nai zo!" (Shut up, Osaka,  
that's not standard!)

"Ugh...Tomo, why are you always the first one awake?" Yomi  
grumbled from her bed.

"And why did you end up on the other side of the room?"  
Yomi secretly thought. But she'd never tell Tomo that!

Reminder: last night's bed pairings (chosen by lot) were:

Tomo/Sakaki  
Kagura/Chiyo-chan  
Yomi/Osaka

"And you!" Yomi turned to Osaka. "WHY did you bother to  
worry about the cracks in the ceiling? You even COUNTED the  
cracks, for Kami's sake! You really oughta be worrying  
about cracks in your head...kept me up til midnight, I  
swear!"

"Kou ka?" Osaka asked innocently.

"Yes, really!" Yomi snapped back.

(Osaka didn't say "kou", meaning "like that". She said  
"kou", meaning "sulci"--in other words, the cracks in her  
head. Feel free to groan.)

"Hey guys, let's be quiet, Kagura, Chiyo-chan, and Sakaki  
are still sleeping," Osaka said quietly but firmly.

"For once you're making an ounce of sense," Yomi muttered.

"Sakaki's still sleeping?" asked Tomo. Loudly.

"Not anymore," Sakaki murmured, her eyes fluttering open.

Just then, a familiar arm threw open the door between their  
rooms.

"Are you awake yet?" Yukari yelled.

"Aahhh!" Chiyo-chan dived under the pillow...and bonked her  
cute little head on the headboard. "Ow!"

"Chiyo-chan! Daijoubu?" (Chiyo-chan! Are you all right?)  
Sakaki jumped off her bed and landed at Kagura's side of  
the bed.

"Huh...what's going on..." Kagura woke up and noticed  
Sakaki's anjigao (worried face) looking at Chiyo-chan.

"Chiyo-chan!" Kagura sat up and turned to Chiyo-chan. "What  
is it? What's wrong?"

With her head still under the pillow: "Yukari scared me...  
and I hit my head..."

"You're twelve, Chiyo-chan," Kagura said evenly. "But  
you're still a kid. It's all right to cry."

Kagura and Sakaki did their best to comfort Chiyo-chan  
while Yukari stumbled into their room.

"Oooo! Memoto o mite yo!" Tomo yelled from across the room.  
(Whoa! Look at ol' Bag-Eyes!)

"Didja have fun with Nyamo last night? Didja? Didja?" Tomo  
yelled.

"Yukari had fun with Nyamo?" Chiyo-chan asked, by now  
recovered from her scare. "Did they stay up late watching  
TV?" Chiyo-chan turned to Kagura. "Speaking of which, what  
IS on TV at that hour?"

"You don't wanna know," Kagura replied distractedly, more  
interested in the Tomo/Yukari conversation.

"Hell yeah we did!" Yukari answered Tomo, slurring her  
voice slightly.

"Shut up Yukari, I'm TRYing to get some sleep in here," a  
tired voice called out from the room next door. "In case  
you haven't noticed."

A few seconds later Nyamo stumbled in. She looked even  
worse than Yukari. Her hair was rumpled, her nightshirt had  
slid down one sleeve, and her "sideburns" were matted.

"Oh, NOW you wanna get some sleep," muttered Yukari.

"What was that?" Nyamo sleepily retorted. "I seem to recall  
YOU insisting on 'just one more game' at two-thirty in the  
morning!"

"You were certainly awake then," Yukari grumbled. "Geez, I  
know you're an athlete, but I didn't know you had THAT much  
stamina."

"What WERE you two doing that kept you up so late?" Yomi  
asked. Not that she'd heard anything, but it was pretty  
obvious from their looks. "Assuming Tomo's right about--"

"It's all HER fault!" Yukari pointed at Nyamo. "I was  
tryin' to sleep at three-thirty in the morning, and this  
moron was keeping me awake!"

"Me? I can't help it! That's just the way I sleep!"

"This is getting interesting," Sakaki secretly admitted in  
her mind, a faint blush rising to her cheeks.

"Well, DO something about it!" Yukari snapped. "There ARE  
doctors who can help you with that, you know!"

"Help you with what?" Kagura asked. By this point all the  
AzuDai girls, including the ever-curious Chiyo-chan, had  
gathered near the door. (I forgot to mention--the door is  
located on the far end of the room, past all three beds,  
nearest Yomi and Osaka's bed. So they all gathered around  
that bed.)

"Shut up!" Nyamo tiredly snapped. "You're making this whole  
thing sound way too dirty, and then I'm gonna end up saying  
something like...ah...Osaka, help me out here..."

"Nandeyanen!" (What the hell?)

"No, not that..."

"Chaunen!" (It's not what it looks like!)

"Yeah, that!"

"Well, what is it?" Kagura asked. Yukari opened her mouth  
to say something. "Yukari, shut up."

"I...I snore," Nyamo admitted, turning red.

"You what?" Tomo called out. "Sorry, I couldn't hear you  
all the way over here!"

"I SNORE, okay?" Nyamo said, louder. "It's been like that  
ever since I was your age."

"Gives me a headache every time I sleep over," Yukari  
interjected.

"Oh, she's just saying that in front of the girls," Nyamo  
thought. "It certainly never stopped her before. Hey, wait  
a second...why are we discussing our private life in front  
of them anyway?"

She turned to Yukari. "And you wonder why we don't live  
together," Nyamo said levelly.

"So that's what you meant when you said it's not so bad  
living alone," Tomo called out. "Even though you two do  
make such a cute--"

"I said that, and with your short attention span I can't  
believe you remembered that," Yukari retorted. "Geez, that  
was, what, two years ago?"

"I know it's a problem," Nyamo admitted, "and I know there  
are surgeries for it. Problem is, I'm just a teacher and I  
can't afford it."

"That's 'cause you're a stupid P.E. teacher," Yukari said,  
earning her a tired half-hearted smack from Nyamo.

"What? We have the same salary! We got hired on the same  
day, remember?"

"I get the feeling that's not the only reason you don't  
live together," Kagura said.

Oddly enough, Yukari suddenly shut up.

"O-ho-ho, you REALLY don't wanna go there, Kagura," Nyamo  
said with a big grin.

"Guess Nyamo's got something on her too," thought Kagura,  
who'd heard from Tomo that Yukari had something on Nyamo.  
Tomo had heard it from Chihiro, who'd heard it from that  
Inoue girl. Something about a raburetaa (love-letter). Oh  
well.

(Readers: Wondering who Inoue is? She first appears in the  
"Health First!" 4-koma on page 13 of vol. 1 and then in the  
"A Secret" 4-koma on page 15 of vol. 1.)

"Whatever, I'm going back to our room," said Yukari, not  
even bothering to call it "the teachers' room".

"Me too," said Nyamo. "I think today's activity is gonna be  
napping. That sounds pretty good. Napping on the beach."  
She yawned and shut the door.

After everybody woke and changed, they decided to visit the  
coral reefs of Naha.

Kimura's class joined Yukari's class for this brief visit,  
so all nine of them (the six girls, Kimura, Yukari, and  
Kaorin) boarded a glass-bottom boat to check out the coral.  
(Obviously there were more than nine people, but we're only  
concerning ourselves with these nine.)

"It's so colorful," said Sakaki.

"Kirei!" (Pretty!) Kaorin said with extra enthusiasm,  
wholeheartedly agreeing with Sakaki. (Kaorin did not  
personally like coral.)

"Whoa...it's so cool!" said Kagura, excited. "Hey, Sakaki,  
is it alive? I think I saw it moving!"

"No, it's not alive," said Sakaki. "But it's made of animal  
skeletons. And there are fish swimming in there."

"Awesome!"

Later, the two classes parted ways. Kimura's class visited  
Miyako Island and Yukari's class visited Iriomote Island.

"Yeah!" shouted Kagura. "It's Nishihyo Island!"

"Kagura, you idiot, it's Iriomote!"

"Shut up Tomo! It slipped out. Again."

"Another slip of the tongue, eh?"

"Not gonna answer that," Kagura muttered. "WHY is Tomo  
always coming up with rude comments?" she thought. "Geez,  
you'd think she blows off plenty of steam with Yomi. Maybe  
I'm reading too much into this. Oh well, it's a beach, so  
let's have some fun! YEAH!"

The six of them decided to explore the island as a group.

Yukari had gone off to tan, telling them to come back in  
six hours.

"If you feel like it," she added. "But that ferry's leaving  
with or without you, and trust me, I'll be on the ferry.  
And I'm NOT coming back for you!"

"Doesn't matter," said Osaka. "We'll start our own  
civilisation. We'll call it...the Namako Society!"

"Again with the namako (sea cucumbers)?" Yomi asked.

"You gotta admit it'd be kinda funny," Kagura said.

"Isn't this island inhabited?" asked Chiyo-chan.

"Doesn't look like it," answered Tomo, surveying the port.  
"There's practically nothing here."

"There's the Iriomote Mountain Cat," said Sakaki hopefully.

"Probably not, so don't get your hopes up," said Tomo,  
seriously for once.

"But don't knock 'em down either," said Kagura.

"Anyway, it's a WILD cat," Sakaki explained, as if that  
explained everything.

As they were walking through the jungle, Kagura asked, "So  
why are you so interested in seeing this Iriomote cat  
anyway?"

Sakaki flushed slightly. Even with her Aura of Cool, she  
does that a lot. "There's the obvious reason..."

"Because it's a cat?"

"It's a RARE cat," Sakaki said. "I looked it up in the  
library. It's so rare, nobody saw one until 1967. Chiyo-  
chan, what were those local names again?"

"Yamamayaa (mountain cat), Yamapikaryaa (mountain sparkly-  
eyed), or Pingiimayaa (escaped cat), in the local dialect,"  
answered Chiyo-chan.

"She really helped me a lot with my search," explained  
Sakaki. "Especially when it came to using the Internet."

Chiyo-chan grinned broadly. "No problem, Sakaki."

"It's not THAT rare," Kagura said.

"Huh?" Sakaki was confused.

"Not for YOU, anyway," Kagura said, flashing her trademark  
grin.

"Why's that?"

"You know," Kagura explained, "I bet YOU could just stick  
your hand out and that cat would come up and bite it." She  
meant it.

Kagura was fully expecting Sakaki to put out her hand,  
which she did. However, Kagura was NOT expecting--

"Ah...ahh..."

Sakaki turned white, but not with fear.

An Iriomote Mountain Cat appeared!

It jumped down from the tree it had been hiding in and made  
its way to Sakaki.

"Whooaa." Kagura was sincerely impressed.

"Yamapikaryaa..." Chiyo-chan breathed.

And then something completely unexpected happened. The cat  
climbed up Sakaki's long leg, somehow taking care not to  
rip her jeans even though it can't sheath its claws.

Sakaki gently put the cat down and knelt down to its level.  
She put out her hand toward the cat's head. Closer...closer  
and closer...

"Careful, Sakaki," Kagura warned, ready to protect Sakaki  
if she needed to.

Sakaki's hand touched the cat's head...and to everybody's  
surprise, not only did she not get bitten, the cat actually  
LIKED it!

"Whoa! You can PET 'im!" Kagura said quietly, excitedly,  
but not wanting to scare away the cat. Though highly  
excited (and excitable), Kagura put away her usual antics.  
This cat wanted Sakaki, so Kagura was NOT going to ruin  
Sakaki's day.

Neither was Tomo. Even she stood awestruck.

"Ahh, Sakaki, that's amazing," said Yomi.

Sakaki dared to pick up the cat. Amazingly, it actually  
snuggled against her chest.

"He's so CUTE! He's still just a kitten, huh?" Chiyo-chan  
rambled excitedly.

For once, Sakaki wasn't listening to what Chiyo-chan had to  
say. She was in her own private heaven.

"Yamamayaa!" cried Sakaki, not loudly enough to scare the  
newly-named kitten.

"Yamamayaa is another word for the Iriomote cat," Chiyo-  
chan gently reminded Osaka.

"Hai, hai," answered Osaka. (Uh huh...)

For the rest of the day, Yamamayaa never once left Sakaki's  
side. Together they visited the Wildlife Conservation  
Center, the Arauchi River (where they all had lunch by the  
river), and even Maryude Falls (Tomo didn't scare Chiyo-  
chan here since there was no rail).

Finally, they arrived at the port, where Sakaki set down  
Yamamayaa with a heavy heart.

"I guess this is goodbye," she said, "since I can't take  
him back with me." She knelt down for one last hug. "We  
can't keep any cats in our house...and he's a protected  
species and all..."

Sakaki looked up at a nearby tree. "Is that your mommy?"  
she asked.

Yamamayaa climbed up onto Sakaki's shoulder. Holding him  
carefully, she walked over to the tree. When she approached  
the branch, Yamamayaa expertly leaped from her shoulder to  
the tree branch.

Yamamayaa's mommy purred with pleasure. Yamamayaa himself  
jumped on his mommy's back, and with one last look at  
Sakaki, climbed from there, further up in the tree.

Yamamayaa's mommy turned to Sakaki with a meaningful look.  
She purred at Sakaki before she herself disappeared into  
the trees.

"Goodbye, Yamamayaa," Sakaki murmured as she boarded the  
return ferry, tears running down her cheeks and wetting her  
Iriomote Mountain Cat T-shirt. "The only cat that truly  
loved me..." 


End file.
